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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling rain
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since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-01-22 07:37 PM


I dedicate this poem to Keagan. Since he was placed in this very same position. Hope your healing buddy.

_________________________________________

Break-Up Is Such A Tragic Thing.
Driving slow on the road
Radio's hanging my ear.
No spoken words
Tension building; what I fear.

The world stopped spin'n
Heart can't stop beating its tune.
Feel that there's not much hope
It needs to end soon.

I can't take it anymore
Our love wasn't that strong
Thought I had it in me
But I simply can't hold on.

Had my fill of this
I'm running out of lies.
Can't pretend any longer
Eventually my heart will die

Seven days of the came ol' act.
Seven days of heartache for me.
Held captive in this
Wishing to be set free

Losing sleep every night
Its eating away at my heart
I need to spit it out
Before I'm torn apart.

You say we can make it through
But I don't wanna try
Only thing left to say
is good bye.

I can't carry on
like nothing's wrong.
Can't be apart of this
tragic song.

I hate being in this
Can't seem to take much more.
Break up is just too sad for me
There's not much to look for.



© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
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1 posted 2009-01-23 05:28 PM


Yeah this poem sorta sucks.. its too long. yeah i know. *sigh* oh well.. Mistakes are made to be improved!

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
2 posted 2009-01-23 11:09 PM


It wasn't that bad, but i have seen you do better. um, maybe i'm a lil slow today but what does the second line mean?

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Octave
Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.
3 posted 2009-01-24 11:48 AM


I don't think it was too bad. I've seen you do better, but as you said, mistakes are made to improve on. There were some nice parts in this. Good try anyway. Take this poem as a lesson. (:
Falling rain
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4 posted 2009-01-24 08:56 PM


Thanks for the comments guys. Yes Octave there is always room for improvement. And Freeand2sexy do you mean second line or stanza? Cause the second line is sorta obvious "Radio hanging in my ear" It means the radio is playing. But if you meant second stanza...

"The world stopped spin'n"
It seems that time has just slowed down.

"Heart can't stop beating its tune"
Well my heart stopped beating..

"Feel that there's not much hope
It needs to end soon. "
I don't seem any hope staying in this relationship so I have to end it soon..

Sorry if I speak in riddles sometimes. lol.    

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
5 posted 2009-01-27 11:06 PM


Isn't most poetry in riddles?? Lol...
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