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XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

0 posted 2010-07-25 01:18 AM

Judging distances from the tops of city buildings,
Crossing streets without a watchful eye,
Screaming from the inside of this heartache.
It seems possible you'll never hear my cries.

Can't you hear the sound of life beginning?
or the way the people cry out when they're hurt?
Does everyone feel the world isn't listening?
Am I really all alone with my tears?

I wish I wasn't so broken,
I don't want to hurt all the time.
I can't help but think that this will never leave me.
I can't help but notice I am alone.

Feeling trapped but breathing,
trying to make you hear.
I'm tired now from screaming.
I'm starting to think you'll never turn back.

Is it wrong to hate this?
A constant battle of mind?
I can't make the decision if I want to live or die.
I hate the pain life brings me
because it's all I ever see. I hate just sitting around, screaming for someone to rescue me.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

1 posted 2010-07-25 03:00 AM

Theres a lot of unjust hurt going on these days. It seems - and "I know not 'seems'" - that the vilest of greedsters and thugs are out in force nowadays. I just hope things get better soon.

I love the "judging distance from the tops of tall buildings" opening line here. (Well, is that icon a dove or a "rock dove", eh?) Please be a little more careful crossing the street. The world needs fewer crumb-bums, but more good poets.

Eterne
Member

since 2010-07-21

Posts 75
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2010-07-25 09:24 PM

I like your poem a lot.

If I may say, I would change the last stanza or just drop it; you've made your point very well in the previous four.

Nope, you are not the only one screaming if that's any consolation...

fantasia king
New Member

since 2010-07-11

Posts 4
grand rapids mn

3 posted 2010-07-25 10:03 PM

i can understand whan things happen

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

4 posted 2010-07-28 12:44 PM

Thank you all for reading. I wasn't sure if I'd get any replies on this one, so I appreciate it.

Thank you easy1 for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
Thank you Eterne also for your kind wor
ds. And I do agree in changing the last stanza. I just didn't have much more to say at the time.
And thank you fantasia King. Your comment is appreciated.

Again, thank you all for reading.

{~~*~~}

Pixie Wales
Junior Member

since 2010-07-29

Posts 21
UK

5 posted 2010-07-29 12:40 PM

I know how nerve-wracking it is to write down your inner-most pain and wonder if anyone will ever understand. I think from your other posts, you can see that you are not alone.

I wanted to say that I hope the sun shines for you very soon, you are very talented.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

6 posted 2010-07-31 12:14 PM

Thanks so much. It means quite a bit to me for you to say that.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

Novus_Os
Member

since 2010-07-21

Posts 115
West Coast, USA

7 posted 2010-08-22 12:17 PM

Good timing, and I like like the contrasts, tops of buildings, crossing streets. I also like the ending. Well done.

Best Regards,

Novus_Os

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

8 posted 2010-08-22 05:24 PM

Thank you

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

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