Dark Poetry #5 |
Don't Mind. |
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Don't mind the scratches That run down my porcelain frame Our vanity is as thin as glass We're shiny like window panes Don't mind the markings The grooves my tears form No matter how broken I feel I show flawless and reform Don't mind the sorrow For it won't be there tonight It'll be held tight under lace Tied away in bows; out of sight We'll drink our midnight tea Another gulp to forget my woes I won't mind the words That are thrown by loving foes Don't mind me when I break For I can't hold my frame Its just another move In this simple game |
||
© Copyright 2010 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
It's awfully easy to think that way isn't it? To say that you're fine and give someone a smile when you think they might suspect you're unhappy. great write {~~*~~} EmilyTheStrange |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Vanity or fear? We hide away so much, and it is so much easier to tell, share, or discuss it with close family and friends. Took me a lifetime to figure that out. Good write Zach. |
||
LivingConfused Junior Member
since 2009-12-27
Posts 40 |
Sir, I don't believe I have commented on your work. I have read a few of them and find them all touching and clear. You stir my emotions. Your work seems to be from an old soul. No critiques just what i felt. Don't mind the sorrow For it won't be there tonight(I have always let the sorrow out at night and held it in the day) We'll drink our midnight tea (midnight tea, I will have to think on that) I won't mind the words That are thrown by loving foes (These two lines strike me dead center) Its just another move In this simple game (excellent ending) Again, Thank you. LC |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Well I don't know if 16 being an old soul. But yes I do believe that I'm more mature then others. hehe. Thank you for your comment Like I really mean it cause I really liked how you actually talked and not just put "good write." But once again thank you. :] Em's and Mysteria thanks for your comments. :] |
||
rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
I have not been on PIP for a while, and today when browsing through the poems.. yours captured me the most. 16? You writing is that of a much more mature person. Yes, take it as a compliment. Thanks R |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
hehe thanks for the comment. |
||
MorningStar Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290Pittsburgh, Pa |
Midnight tea... Love it. Smiling to myself as I finish up a little retail therapy - a little upkeep for my shiny veneer If I don't say it...who will? |
||
Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
I agree that people often smile and pretend that nothing is wrong when they have been hurt. Perhaps it maybe age or wisdom but a certain amount of cynicism resides within me. I know that people will hurt me and I will inadvertently hurt them. But isn`t that part of being human? A phoney smile doesn`t seem as bad as an all out argument to me. --- A good piece that generates discussion. |
||
JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
You're really blossoming as a poet, Zach. Another fine write from your gifted pen. |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Earl, I can understand what you mean. I think its when someone gain knowledge and can comprehend those feelings do they turn bitter. Its not a matter of age or experience. Its just basic comprehending. Thanks for the thought. Jen, Thanks! I don't think I'm really growing as a poet. I just learn to show my emotions in a way that seems poetic. if that makes sense. But I think that's the definition of a "poet." But thanks for the comment! |
||
DizzyLizzy New Member
since 2010-03-08
Posts 2south africa |
that was awesome could really relate keep up the good work!!! Lizz |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
thanks Liz! Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters. |
||
voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
wow very beautiful!! must say!! very great write!! Kate |
||
Eldest Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177Alabama |
You touched a chord within me. I know that feeling of saying "I'm fine" when you want to scream "I hurt", but feel that you have to keep up the front, don't want to rock the boat (or anyone's feelings). |
||
s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
I haven't been on here for a while, but i'm glad I found this. Fake smiles, fake laughter.....I know this all too well - for some reason "crying is for the weak" was imprinted in my mind haha so I take it all and smile. Nice to know it isn't just me. Thanx for sharing your wonderful piece. -Trina There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be - LeonBloy |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Thank you for reading. Glad that someone was at least to connect with my poetry. |
||
LaGraceLa Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243Minnesota, USA |
I have read this six times over, and still can not get enough. I'm not completely sure what it is yet some poems, certain words, they fit. And this poem... I am honored to be able to read it. There is something about your words that are what I- need? I have tried many times to describe this feeling, and each time I think I am doing nothing but proving my insanity. I also happen to be 16, and am also called an old soul. I still have yet to figure out what it means. But I do know that this poem is stunning. I know that feeling all too well, holding it in for them when they should be the ones helping you. Yet you sit there and smile until they leave and then you just break down. I am absolutely amazed by your words, thank you so much for posting them. |
||
Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
this poem makes me think a lot... mainly about why we always play these facades. i used to think that it was for the benefit of others that i did this, but maybe it's a defense mechanism of our own... thanks HAF |
||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Grace, thank you for reading. I'm now 18. (I obviously don't come on this site very much. lol.) Now that I look back at this poem, I see where I was at in my life. Honestly, I just write out whatever sounds good to me. I write some pretty abstract poetry so not everyone can understand what I'm trying to say. Good thing you could understand. Thank you for your comment. Haf_Alive, That's what I was trying to get at. I know the feeling all too well to act in order for others to leave me alone. I just found that hiding my pain only left me in more pain later on. Thank you for reading. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |