Dark Poetry #5 |
So Alone |
Barron Junior Member
since 2009-09-16
Posts 10Ohio, US |
Surrounded by friends, but so alone Can anyone see my problem, though unknown? I start to think, and out I zone Into abyss I fall, with it I have grown So alone I'm in a crowd, but I'm by myself I can't just but the past on a shelf I can't drown my problems with wealth Nor can I hide them in fake stealth So alone Alone is all that I am Alone, all I can say is d**n Alone, when can I give the sign Alone, I could only hope for the benign So alone Why do I feel this way If I'm with people every day? It's a feeling no longer ignored Into my conscience loneliness has bored So alone It's eating away at my sanity I've sundered myself from humanity I'm being brought down by the gravity That aches like a tooth with a cavity So alone I would do anything to have it known My problem, has it not shone? This despair, getting worse as I've grown I'm tired of this, time to be alone So, so alone |
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© Copyright 2009 Barron Chan - All Rights Reserved | |||
XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
The third stanza was a bit rough but otherwise i like it. I find that I can really relate to a lot of what you are saying, and that's good. I wouldn't really consider this dark but oh well! ...darn it..i was going to say something else but now i forget.. Well anyhoo, keep writing and I see that you're somewhat new here so Welcome to PIP! I'll be reading more. {~~*~~} EmilyTheStrange |
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loveyourself102 Junior Member
since 2009-10-11
Posts 48 |
a very real perspective on the true humans emotions well done u have just exposed everyones true feelings and i applauded u |
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Barron Junior Member
since 2009-09-16
Posts 10Ohio, US |
Thanks for the comments! Since I'm relatively new here, I still don't have the strongest judgment on what fits in what forum, but since that's how I felt when I wrote it, I figured it would fit here alright. |
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