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Dark Poetry #5

Inside These Walls

zaaclindsay
Member

since 2009-08-12

Posts 111
Ottawa Ontario

0 posted 2009-08-12 04:07 AM

Inside these walls
lie the villian and the victim
Stand or fall the hero finds a witness

Shadows call
in a martyr's choir envisioned
Right or wrong
Just a standard crucifixion

Someone please make sense
of love still drowning
in a teacup full of leaves
read in vain
Caught between redemption
and the counting
of blood, sins, and innocence
gone insane.

Silence shouts
lashing back at the treason
soul caught in anguish
still tryin to find a reason

Can wisdom reach down
through the darkest season
and toll the bell
once more for humble heathens

Someone please make sense
of love still drowning
in a teacup full of leaves
read in vain
Caught between redemption
and the counting
of blood, sins, and innocence
spilled again.

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2009-08-25 06:40 PM

I don't know if there's a name to this style, but I love this, and esp. this stanza which was repeated at the end, with the last line changed..

Someone please make sense
of love still drowning
in a teacup full of leaves
read in vain
Caught between redemption
and the counting
of blood, sins, and innocence
gone insane.

and the last line changed to "spilled again"

ramisf
Member

since 2007-05-17

Posts 93

2 posted 2009-08-29 12:14 PM

Love exists in the eyes of its beholder the same as beauty where you cannot differentiate if something is beautiful unless you see the other side (ugly). Besides it depends on how much you have admired love and see beauty. there is a big correlation between love and beauty since when we love someone or something, we see the beautiful traits and benefits out of it. however, with time we get used to it and we start discovering the bad traits and behavior which in turns will be reflected on our love to it and we will no longer love it.

heartofsteel
Junior Member

since 2009-09-07

Posts 13
Oregon, USA

3 posted 2009-09-07 11:04 PM

great job!
this kept me reading and adoring the poem more and more with each word.
Your writing is stellar

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