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Dark Poetry #5

exploited

kindredspirit
Member

since 2009-05-19

Posts 156

0 posted 2009-05-23 09:29 AM

he embraces her in silence
takes on the guise of friend
a bitter-sweet betrayal
climaxed in the end

ruthless and cold
he slowly reels her in
a predator by nature
he revels in the sin

hands around her throat
evil in his eyes
fighting screaming begging
her spirit slowly dies

he’s her never-ending nightmare
the lie that shot her dead
a cut that scabbed and tore
the voice inside her head

a whisper of a thought
where-in lies the blame
a temptress now repented
you deserve this shame

then her face turns to the light
and the scars begin to fade
forgiveness drains the poison out
and thus ends the charade.

SeraphimBroken
Member

since 2009-03-09

Posts 74
USA

1 posted 2009-05-25 05:03 PM

Very wonderfully well written.

"then her face turns to the light
and the scars begin to fade
forgiveness drains the poison out
and thus ends the charade."

This really hit home with me.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2009-05-25 11:21 PM

I second the previous comment about the last stanza. Your use of the word charade is wonderful. Is the subject of the poem using the past injustice to protect herself from having to grow in life? Is she lying to him/herself? Light and forgiveness as a vacuum draining away blame is a nice metaphor.

Life's short. Think hard!
Me!

Ethernaut
Junior Member

since 2009-04-07

Posts 31
NT, Australia

3 posted 2009-05-26 11:45 AM

A very moving piece.

I am in the midst of helping a friend regain her confidence and recover from a similar event. I hope the time may come when I will be able to show her your poem, show her that she's not alone, nor without hope.

Thankyou for providing words which I could not.

Beauty can be found in all places, even within the darkness of the soul.

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

4 posted 2009-05-27 06:14 AM

WOW for a newbie your work is EXCEPTIONAL!.. wonderfull!

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