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Dark Poetry #5
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Thoughts of Despair
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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Thoughts of Despair |
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Def-init Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186Toronto, Canada |
Thoughts of despair. Are you really there? I hold my breath, maybe for too long I don't fear death, am I too far gone? I play songs, though I am the only one here Why does this feel like it’s the end! A heart broken must mend If we are nothing to no one, Will action scream wisdom? What will become of the soul when it falls into a chasm and hits the bottom? In my world, Aladdin doesn’t get Jasmine! My life is torn into two. part angle, part demon half enlightened, half screamin' The people beside me fear the person inside me I came to experience pain If you’re blind at heart, it’s called shame I feel the mundane and the magic The soul's very fabric a particle storm caused by the dramatic Misery’s crown, a lesson in traumatic The fact is I write the real While most just act it. I annihilate them, I can't relate to them, yet flow with the best of them, hate even the man that stands next to them. But as I grow now. Hate makes me alone now Sorrow in the core felt right in the bone now. I want to leave my family behind I picture my mother crying, I deny it, but the love isn’t gone. You feel it every time the sun rises at dawn I am the spawn of two peoples love yet, above all else I still feel withdrawn Gotta remain strong, I have distorted eyes so I keep my emotions trapped, once-upon-a-time. - If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell - |
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| © Copyright 2009 Brian M. Caouette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"I have distorted eyes so I keep my emotions trapped," a lot of good lines here~~ M |
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Eirian Member
since 2009-04-13
Posts 70 |
I really enjoyed this, losts of strong emotion there |
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prize Member
since 2008-11-21
Posts 116 |
I feel the mundane and the magic The soul's very fabric a particle storm caused by the dramatic Misery’s crown, a lesson in traumatic The fact is I write the real While most just act it. Def-init, Your poem is very melodic - just as I read your style in all of your poems...I love the lines above - they flow so well - I read these lines over a few times when I read this poem. Very moving. P |
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Rocheal Junior Member
since 2009-03-15
Posts 25 |
Never fails. I love reading your writing... |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Yeah baby! I love your rap-like writing style. I keep wanting to try writing something like rap (I like the rhyming in a lot of rap songs) but I'm afraid you'd laugh at me  I love how you turn despair and difficulty into the thing to be praised in this poem. Your speaker's achievement is that he's endured a tonne of hardships and then produced some killer verse with them. |
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Def-init Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186Toronto, Canada |
Thx for the feedback all. Hey fractal007, how yeah been man? - If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell - |
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