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Open Poetry #43
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Western Promises
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Western Promises |
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CrazyHorse Junior Member
since 2008-08-23
Posts 31New-Brunswick, Canada |
The bitter taste still lingers well into the morn' Her ill-fated touch made his bare bed feel like home He walks o'er to his window, finds the letter she wrote He remembers her well, their paths were bound to get roped The soft breeze of the prairie, the smoke of brimstone and fire The cost of love ain't improvin', it just keeps climbin' higher She said "You got so much to give, so just live your own time You got your past, babe, and I've got mine" I still remember her house, I still remember her stairs The sweet smell of rain fallin' down, washin' the dust from my hair A grown man’s scream from the canyons, the stale perfume of blood The crack of a shotgun barrel, a bullet covered in soot My front door ain't been opened for nearly five years My gaze is fixed on my window, my hands cover my ears The beauty of livin' a life in a good woman's fire The foul smell of false-pride, mixed with slow burnin' desire And out in the desert, more than a thousand arrows climb Reaching the fat moon's headquarters, and meets the white-hot star's eyes The broken bones of a promise, the blood-drenched sweat of a lie The lost love of a lady he can't shake from his mind I keep dreamin' of dark skin, of silky brown hair I keep dreamin' of someone who's left, but who's spirit's still here Her shadows cross my surroundings, engulfed in my pride's flame Spitting harsh words of kinship, none of which are in vain The smell of her cookin' breakfest; bacon, eggs, beans and toast She softly pats my poor back, sits next to me real close She sips up her cofee, eats a bit We look at each other, I think "This is it, This is where I'll find my salvation, this is what I've been tryin' to see" That's what I'm starving for, darlin', that's what I'm aimin' to be [This message has been edited by CrazyHorse (08-24-2008 08:23 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 MarcChamberlain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Welcome Crazyhorse! So, reading the conclusion, I hope the front door will again be opened! Five years seem a long time! Well structured poem, well done. Love, Margherita "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
CrazyHorse~ WELCOME to our campfire~ 'I keep dreamin' of someone who's left, but who's spirit's still here' As you very well are aware, a dream won't keep you warm into the night, but that woman that pats your back will~  Nice penning ... hope to see even more from you~ Be sure to read and reply to the works of others gathered here ... for we wish to get to know you well~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
CrazyHorse, Wonderful writing. I read it out loud a couple of times and do believe that it is not the last time that I shall do so. Welcome to PiP - I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Please, bring it on! Alison |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Wow, Crazy Horse! There is certainly an intriguing story behind all this. I am wondering who died out there in the desert. I am sorry that you feel such pain. Wishing you deep happiness that comes from within. - Owl |
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CrazyHorse Junior Member
since 2008-08-23
Posts 31New-Brunswick, Canada |
aw man, thanks everyone for the replies. i've been looking for somewhere to post my poetry and have other poets read 'em,breath 'em and feel 'em. i think i've found the right place. more shall come,i've loads to share. and i make you all a promise that i'll comment on each of yours. thanks for the warm welcome,everyone. -CrazyHorse |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
The smell of her cookin' breakfest; bacon, eggs, beans and toast She softly pats my poor back, sits next to me real close She sips up her coffWelcome to PIPee, then eats a bit We look at each other, I think "This is it, This is where I'll find my salvation, this is what I've been tryin' to see" That's what I'm starving for, darlin', that's what I'm aimin' to be Welcome to PIP Crazy Horse, you have written a great post to start with so keep it up. Lindsay |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
CrazyHorse, I know just what you mean about needing a place to post and get feedback. PiP has been a wonderful place for me to share my poems and to grow as a writer. I am still working hard on becoming a stronger poet - and I get great feedback here to help me. I also get a lot of encouragement. I have made some real friends on this site and never have seen the pettiness that I saw in other sites. Again, my welcomes to you. Alison |
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