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DreamerSpirit
Member

since 2006-10-02

Posts 240
Buenos Aires, Argentina

0 posted 2008-08-21 11:30 AM

i dedicate this one, to a friend of mine, she's living difficult times. this is another way of showing her that i'm next to her, no matter what.

Shine

shine,
that's what
i wanted you to do
shine,
that's what
i wanted to see

when i met you
you were shining
i was fascinated
with that light
that brightness

time passed
and darkness took your light
until you could shine no longer

but i'm not giving up
i'm going to shine for you
you took me out
when i was in dark times
now i'm returning you the favor

so that
once we are even
and once we both shine
we can shine together
and never cry again

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2008-08-21 05:46 PM

Denis, este poema - muy bien escrito - habla de tu gran corazòn.
It is a very lovely plan to succeed to shine together.
Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

DreamerSpirit
Member

since 2006-10-02

Posts 240
Buenos Aires, Argentina

2 posted 2008-08-21 10:25 PM

Bueno Muchas Gracias, Margherita
aprecio mucho tus comentarios y por supuesto tu comentario en español, muy lindo gesto de tu parte.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2008-08-21 10:40 PM

Love your name! Love your poem!

Shine on!

You're my kind of friend!

Love and Light to both you and your friend!

Earth Angel

DreamerSpirit
Member

since 2006-10-02

Posts 240
Buenos Aires, Argentina

4 posted 2008-08-21 11:05 PM

Thanks for your warm words, earth angel.
i'm glad you liked it.

and it makes me happy to know i'm your type of friend, you know? i needed to hear that, i don't know why.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

5 posted 2008-08-22 01:48 PM

Yo DreamerSpirit,

The idea behind this poem is very good.

I'd advise capitalizing your first person singular pronouns: "I", "I'm", etc.

Bobby

DreamerSpirit
Member

since 2006-10-02

Posts 240
Buenos Aires, Argentina

6 posted 2008-08-22 02:49 PM

you're right bobby,
I still need to get used to it when I transcribe the poems here.

thanks for the advice.

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