Open Poetry #43 |
Shadows |
scorpio eyes shut Junior Member
since 2008-07-24
Posts 31kerala, india |
Yesterday I longed to tell you How beautiful life is. My mind searched for words, Explored gestures- You, my friend, Known only to me An eternal joy, I thought. Time was a mere inconvenience- But There was My time and Your time Orbiting in space- Could they cross paths? Today I try to reach you, I look for the way- A fog, a haze- Always a shroud, An island in un-navigable seas. An incision below the cerebral cortex Failed to locate you- The acres of the brain Enwrapping you in their seismic folds. Is there completeness in being lonely? Or am I just alone? The whiff of your presence- Fault lines in the brain, Or an enactment Of the middling years of middle age, When concessions are conceded to. |
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© Copyright 2008 anuradha chandran - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Well written, thought provoking poem, Scorpio. Ida |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Nice Write, very descriptive!-- Try harder, and maybe you will get what you want. Never give up! ARCTIC WIND |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Mmm! I loved loved this network of well-flowered garden paths through your mind. You know, I have always known how much I enjoy being and need to be, on my own, (except for my cat and dog, of course), but your poem awoke me to how exciting I find it. Think about it Scorpio, if you hadn't felt lonely, or at least alone, you wouldn't have created this rich mind-feast for us and for you. You would probably have been holding a conversation with the person in the poem. A conversation, no matter how wonderful - to be comprehensible to both/all parties, it has to have far stricter limitations than one's own thoughts, which can explode in one direction, then implode and tiptoe in another direction stay for a while in one spot or fall asleep or dance on the spot or sing or climb a tree. If you think I need to be sent to a funny farm in a curly jacket, please may it be one with funny animals on it. - Owl |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
i loved this one, i got caught. brilliant writing. i'm looking forward for your next poems |
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