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Open Poetry #43
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the thinks (rp--with a minor adjustment)
| Open Poetry #43 |
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the thinks (rp--with a minor adjustment) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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some thing I just can't think about - me - who cannot seem to cease the thinks from standing there in line to board the rollercoaster me as the cart screams dangerous in the curve ahead I plead: "plant your feet and pray" for we are riding on one rail. some things I dare not think about - me - who never ceases dream the brink of all raw edge despair tightening elastic string calculating height and mass devil-wing the depth I weep: "loose your feet and pray" for we have left no room to fail. something I never cared about - me - who cannot stop the tears I blink the waters of the tide behind the levee of my lids sandbag of the scars I sigh: "take a chance and pray" for we don't have much else to do. |
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| © Copyright 2008 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...This opens many doorways in my mind, some I thought were locked forever. You are a true weaver of words and thoughts that leave the reader wonderning, " is this about me... how did she know?" Thanks for sharing...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
My take on this is that it is about taking the leap of faith ~ over and over again. Life truly is like a roller coaster ride. "I blink the waters of the tide behind the levee of my lids sandbag of the scars I sigh:" ~ Poetically poignant. Yes, "take a chance and pray".  Linda |
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Veni Mortem Junior Member
since 2008-07-31
Posts 43 |
I like the way this is set up, it had a nice flow. I think it would make a cool song, too, actually. Nice work, it was enjoyed. ^_^ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Quite possibly more people consider the same thoughts as you - we're just not always brave enough to put them down in blue on blue. |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
I understand. You expressed the feeling well. Jill |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks guys--it's an old one. I've been looking back, picking and choosing what I want to keep and want to lose, and I like this, with the mended meter, although it still feels incomplete to me. But thank you for your consideration. I'm still flummoxed for an ending, since rollercoasters tend to go in circles, nearly.  I may yet go dig up another poetic corpse of mine, since I'm feeling maudlin.  Love to all.  |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Excellent write! Eric |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Karen... every time I think I might just get the hang of this poetry thing, I read one of your thoughts, and realize that I am yet but a novice with too many miles to go. Absolutely loved this one. What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Karen, You did express your Inner emotions VERY well. This is one of my favs from you because it showed a different side of you. -- Which is a good thing of course lol  ARCTIC WIND |
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