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as if
| Open Poetry #43 |
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as if |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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It does not step delicately but still it takes one by surprise even though we live the creed: granted, a necessity: "This won't be the day I die." Bombs penetrate, no gentle glide they confuse the mind with "why" as we search the sky for signs and assure ourselves with lies-- "God is on our side." We think... sweating bullets as we wink bravado of our belief in "it" (we're doing such good work) [insert the name] of our Lord, most Holy God, pronunciation, differing, acknowledgement of sin. Truth rolls into self; armied- into our "cities"--occupied. Tidy blocks of microscop "Al" the body guard's regard there in Ray Ban sunglasses to keep the "us" in nucleus rebelling labels of the "we".. disregarding nuclei cutting off our toes from feet as if a toe was a disease... or not so necessary, we wobble prayers for balancing... wishing we were home, as if we were not destroying it a quadrant at a time. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Dear Serenity blaze, I'm afraid I don't understand this fully. Somehow though I get a feeling of hoplessness. We should all be grateful that the old: "God is on our side" song and dance is going out of style. Bobby [This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (07-31-2008 12:15 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Bobby? If it's any comfort, I don't understand your replies fully, either. I don't write to confuse anyone deliberately, nor do I expect anyone to treat it as a riddle, but I am curious-- Did you feel anything? Besides confusion, I mean.  Please know I appreciate the effort, either way.  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Do you mind if I call you Karen??!?  as we search the sky for signs and assure ourselves with lies-- "God is on our side." We think..." ~*~ There is one part of your poem I would like to talk about. When speaking to God in a crisis, Asking for help is a VERY common thing -- I find it funny that people who say they don't believe still ask The "Big guy up stairs" for help. I've realized that sometimes in my life.I enjoyed reading your poem that is full of powerful words that all sums up to a great read! ARCTIC WIND [This message has been edited by Artic Wind (07-31-2008 12:26 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
A.W.? (((((((((hugs))))))))))))) I'd love to participate in a more in-depth discussion of your question--so, humor me and post that in a discussion forum? I'd be more than happy to discuss the semantics of faith and resulting compliances and observances, there. I do very much appreciate your time and reading, and would love to hear your thoughts on the subject, more in-depth. Much love to you! And Bobby too!  I came back to ask, why did you place quotes around the word 'powerful'? |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
That's one of my joys, I like to hear about peoples beliefs on the subject. I would like to talk about it. Now, I made a little Oospsy!-- I was't thinking when I put those two beside the word. Thank you for pointing that out. Hopefully Everything is anwsered!-- Correctly that is lol ARCTIC WIND |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Serenity blaze, As I stated: “Somehow though I get a feeling of hopelessness.” That is, a feeling of hopelessness on your part. It just seemed rather grim to me. However, remember, I’m just a simple city boy who doesn’t understand much. Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I understand this poem, Karen That's what I'm talking about, you must be a distant relative of some sort. Ida |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...!!! Eric |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
There is no "it" without the "i" and Oh! The things that are done in the name of "it" ! ::smiles:: I love it ! |
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Veni Mortem Junior Member
since 2008-07-31
Posts 43 |
Awesome. ^^ You have a unique style here that goes beyond words... It freely flows but is still held together solidly... That's the best way I can describe it, at least. ^_^; Very nice work. ^^ |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Daaaaang woman. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just love you folks! thank you |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
and we love you re reading this one oh no I'm not confused I just like it! If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I love where your mind goes. It's like your poetry is a map to your thoughts. Boy that sounds trite, but I know what I mean. I don't write maps; I write mazes. Alison |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I think less of god as I get older, though I've no doubt god thinks even less of me. One mark of good poetry is that it drives the reader's mind down unexpected byways, sometimes by intent sometimes by serendipity. I may have told you before that the last time I saw god she was 5' 10" and had red hair. This has given me a new image I also like, god in Ray Ban's wearing a beer stained Hawaiian shirt. Good poetry. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*chuckling @ Charly* Some days I picture God looking a bit like you... but I'll take the "redhead" if yer not using her any more! *laughing* Thanks for reading to all. "Understanding" ain't all that and a cheeze pizza--but I worried a bit about unintended offense with this one, so I appreciated those of you who "get" me. |
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