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Open Poetry #43
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Nothing i did was good enough
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Nothing i did was good enough |
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gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
(i like writing it may not be all that good but i enjoy it even if it doesnt make sense to you it does to me) (sometime i dont even know not all writers know what they are talking about) In this town There is nothing like you Pretty autumn left me Everything had a reason till You left and showed me who we are You made me lonely and lost I feel so bored and I can’t put a smile on anymore I thought of everything we did And yet I still can’t figure out everything you said Forever is the words that left your mouth But now were done I don’t see you anywhere near me I thought you said you wanted everything I’d do anything for you But you didn’t seem to notice I was gone When you said you’re leaving me |
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| © Copyright 2008 gdcod2player - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Dear gdcod2player, Nice poem. I have a couple of comments, please know I am not trying to be mean. Don't preface your work with an explanation of apology. Let us read your words and capture the feeling that they create. I don't need to 'understand' everything about a poem. I look for how it makes me 'feel'. I do believe that grammar, spelling and consistant capitalization are areas we all need to be aware of and try to perfect. Sloppy work distracts me and makes me walk away in mid sentence. That was a general remark and not necessarily directed to the poem that you just posted. I think we all are learning here. I know that I am and it sounds like you will too. Thank you for taking the plunge and sharing with us. Alison |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Dear gdcod2player, Boy, I kind of jumped into that comment above, didn't I? I am sorry to critique when you have stated in your profile that you don't want critique. I'll work on checking before opening my mouth or letting my fingers rattle off a reply. I like your poetry and am happy that you have come to PiP. I hope to be reading your poetry for years to come. Take care and thank you. Alison |
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