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Open Poetry #43
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Do Dump Gulls Nest?
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Do Dump Gulls Nest? |
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Spuddette Member
since 2008-07-03
Posts 112England |
Those blazing leaves Ignited the ground About our shuffling feet. I stitched them to the luxurious cushions of my minds lounge while your monotone paced up and down. The gulls from the dump screamed Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Racing with the moving sky Scattering your echo in courageous swoops. I wondered where they rest Where do dump gulls nest? Over your shoulder in the middle ground A single carriage slandered down the track The love is gone. The love is gone. The love is gone. Your words fell to the floorboards of my mind And as I looked back My eyes, impaled somewhere on your face, Saw every part of you Yet I cant recall the moment You were gone from that place. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Spuddette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
This is masterful poetry. Bravo! ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Yes! Masterful! ~miscellanea~ |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Incredibly haunting...I can feel the hollow. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms janet...dumpgulls nest at donut shop rafters and cathedral annex holy places just as the ravens do..seems they don't even change clothes between...enjoyed your work here |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
I really enjoyed this right up to: Where do dump gulls nest? After that line it seemed to fade to just ok, which is a real shame with such a good start. Please tell me Scouse wrote the second half or that Beth distracted you with offers of alcohol.  It’s still better than any of mine though if that’s any consolation. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yes Virginia, dump Gulls do nest. Surprisingly enough about half of them lay eggs. Bobby |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
My eyes, impaled somewhere on your face, Saw every part of you Yet I can't recall the moment You were gone from that place. Great post Spudette, much enjoyed. Lindsay |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Great write! I especially was impressed with the following lines: "Your words fell to the floorboards of my mind And as I looked back My eyes, impaled somewhere on your face, Saw every part of you" Warm hug, EA |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Loved this, right the way through, though I ache empathetically in your sadness. - Owl |
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Spuddette Member
since 2008-07-03
Posts 112England |
Thank you all for reading and commenting. Owl, don't worry its not my sadness, but I'm glad it moved you - bless you. I just wanted to explore the avoidance tactics of someone being dumped and not facing up to it. Those moments in life when something quite important is happening but just doesnt quite sink in. We've all been there. lol. xxxjanetxxx |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Well Written! & Interesting ARCTIC WIND |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I'm glad it isn't your pain, Spuddette/Janet. It is very difficult climbing into someone else's shoes , but you did a magnificent job of it! - Owl [This message has been edited by OwlSA (07-27-2008 07:46 AM).] |
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