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Open Poetry #43
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If I Were Mean
| Open Poetry #43 |
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If I Were Mean |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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If I were mean I'd beat you up. I'd say "what's that?" and sucker punch laughing as I ran from you after I'd tied both your shoes together just to watch you fall. If I were mean, I'd pat your back, all friendly-like, as I attached a sticky note upon your back informing others that you lack in places personal. If I were truly evil, I'd spread rumors of most vicious kind-- "cooties"- they would cringe the thought of sharing quarters where none ought need to apply a poison draught for purposes, medicnal. If I were tyranical? Nth the times satanical? I'd be so very, very mean. I'd make you fall in love with me! And then you would know agony Eternally to burn in hell. If either of us did believe in such philosophies, I mean.  How fortunate that we do not-- lest both of us be karmic-caught working overtime, Starbucks, learning how to pour that stuff of corporate cookie cutter fluff with no resemblence to coffee for yuppies not so nice. It's sure a good thing we're not mean. We might have fights. We might do things to the coffee we served up... giving bad reps to "sprinklings" and whatever deviance the two of us would conjure, rough displacement for frustration found while smiling at the customers. Yep, it's good that we're not mean.  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
If I were nice I might drop a bill across the smile of a juke and tune a cruise of Tony Lamas between you feet in dance. Hmmmmm ... maybe I should try being nice. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
If I were a Carpenter...... Eric |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Serenity Blaze, You forgot my favorite not nice trick when I was a kid, and could hide under tables-- the hot foot. Bobby |
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Vestibular Bard Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284New York |
If I Was Nice - Refrain - for Blazing Serenity If I was nice I’d sing in choir, When it got hot, I’d not perspire. I’d help old ladies across the street, And there'd be no stink to my sheet. If I was nice, I’d be more humble, Pay my taxes, never grumble. Merry Christmas cards, I would send, That councilman, he'd be my friend. If I was nice, I’d be less quick, To laugh, if you can’t sing a lick, I’d support you, and not bridle, When you try out, for that show; “Idol”. If I was nice, I’d buy you drinks, I’d juke your song, and wouldn’t stink. I’d sing it right, and make you laugh, I’d know the things that make you chaff. If I was nice I’d fix your pipes, I’d be the clever handy type, I’d be real neat, instead of sloppy, And drive you to, your Endoscopy. If I was nice, you’d feel no hurt, I’d blow some warm smoke up your skirt. I’d make you smile, in your pain… …with my sly verse in sad refrain. Yep...it's good I'm not nice [This message has been edited by Vestibular Bard (12-16-2008 08:08 PM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*laughing* You had me at "Endoscopy".  |
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Vestibular Bard Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284New York |
Often, I would lie awake at night, Anxious, Restless, Wondering, Would the time finally come? Would my prayers finally be answered? Would I finally get to rhyme the word ‘Endoscopy’, In a silly poem, And make someone laugh? Another one of my life's meager goals... Achieved! |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
I fell in love with you long ago and have cursed your meanness ever since. It's ok though... I feel quite blessed by it. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Uriah knows how to get to me. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am sure glad he is not working at MY Starbucks, I would be trembling in my boots when I ordered my, low-fat, pumpkin spice, hold the pumpkin, add the vanilla, a bit of chocolate, and don't forget the carmel syrup drizzled on the top (no whipping cream please.)  Lord, you can make me smile on the most dreary day lady. Lordy, that Barb he makes me smile large too! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed  |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Serenety, you sure know how to provoke the most interesting responses. I do think I'd run like heck if I thought you were about to be mean to me. Then again, I really don't think you're the type to be that way. You're too intelligent, openminded, honest,loving, all encompassing, banter-loving and just plain sweet. Rae |
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Vestibular Bard Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284New York |
If I was nice, intelligent, Open minded, and paid my rent, I’d be honest, filled with banter, Less a Grinch, and more a Sant-er (NY pronunciation) I’d be loving, and oh so sweet, I’d feed the ‘Blaze’ a wicked treat. If I was nice, I’d be loving, Moonbeams I would not be shoving, If I was nice, I’d stick around, Alas I’m not, so I’m shot down. |
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YoungatHeart2 Member
since 2008-12-12
Posts 81 |
A+ on the grammar |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"displacement for frustration found while smiling at the customers" ...now that is mean |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
no need to go! you'll find a place and soon enjoy your grits with grace! It's true we do get outta place-- but that's the charm of grits and face. Religious tolerance is true even for the folks like you Stick around and you will see that here you'll find serenity! But be prepared for discussion, have your duckies one by one in a line for questions as they will come forthwith. Post your poetry! Be free! You'll meet a lot of folks like me and quite a lot atheists playing devil's advocate. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
stevenr? It IS mean, but so often true... don't tick off the people feeding you!  |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Karen  quit bluffing...you don't have a mean bone in your body!!  you rock and you know it! |
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Vestibular Bard Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284New York |
If I was nice, I’d drink latte, Just not at Blaze’s mean café, I’d learn to be more tolerant, Convince the folks, we’re ‘ignorant’. I’d persuade nice folks, I think it odd, When they claim, to speak for god. If I was nice, I just rhyme rhymes And smooch the assonant behinds, Of folks that called be worthless ‘troll’, And hint that they are in control. I’d be as nice, as nice can be, Why even Karen, would like me. If I was nice, I’d stamp out mean, I’d outlaw fancy coffee ‘chines. I’d serve the yuppies…with a laugh, And fill their mugs with half decaf... If I was nice, I’d make amends, And join your ‘family of friends’... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you VB. If you're going? You'll be missed. by me, anyhow...  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
P.S. to all. I read my poem to my son, and he got an ear bleed.  |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Hehehe yes not that mean!!!!! Yeah that's why I avoid coffee shops. Well I guess you know the reason already lol. -Juju |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I'm soooo glad I don't drink Starbuck's coffee and you're not mean, Karen. Ida |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I am: Grande', non-fat, white chocolate mocha, no whip. yep, and I love you no matter what. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
what do ya mean if? too funny !!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
helen? Did I do something to hurt my friend?  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
never |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love you. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
back at cha |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, what a way to start my Saturday AM. No to those lattes, yes to pilates, or is that too BORING a substitution? Love the replies, the interplay amongst friends/foes/whoever comes before Queen Serenity's coffee court. ~loveya~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
thanks all, with love to my inspiration. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
You seem to have started something here (again *chuckling*) I'm far nicer (or more subtle) these days where once (in my new situation) I would correct the misspellings of coworkers with a red pen...then, grade the effort now? I merely join in... miss smith payed the depossit but wants a peanno in the banquet room and didja know there's no less than 118 ways to spell Hors D'oeuvres? |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Serene One, you sure know how to write mean ~ but there ain't a mean bone in that witchy body of yours! Yer a charmer! ~ and look how you got your fellow pipsters to come out to play! I especially enjoyed the Bard's "nice" responses! lol I may be naughty, but I'm nice, so I am making you a toddy with lots of apple spice! Linda |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"118 ways to spell Hors D'oeuvres" Now there's the title of a book, yeti. You've got enough kitchen stories to write one too. Think about it, eh? *grin* and oh Linda, it's easy to get playful people to play! Ya'll are so much fun! Merry Christmas!  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Now that's a book I'd buy for sure, especially if penned by our merry wranxster! |
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