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Open Poetry #43

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2008-12-16 10:31 AM

.

Since
I know
I let you go

You drift
In space
Inanimate
Without light
Depth or air

Winter stars
Above the sea
Cabin lanterns
Along the shore

Take no interest
Where you now
Might be

Hardly aware
You were
Ever here

.

amusemi
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1262
A State of Disarray

1 posted 2008-12-16 11:29 AM

"You drift
In space
Inanimate
Without light
Depth or air"

This reminds me of dark matter.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

2 posted 2008-12-16 09:00 PM

That's what she would like you to think.

-Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2008-12-16 11:15 PM

found myself not just drawn to the content, but also to the construct of this write...don't know if it was intentional...I really was awed by your word usage in your final stanza...so much depth in so many mono-syllabic wonders...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

4 posted 2008-12-17 06:18 PM

Huan Yi - you do write some mesmerizing poetry, this is one of them, nice write...

BC

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

5 posted 2008-12-17 08:05 PM

.

Thanks all

Sometimes
It takes a long time
To find out how wrong you were . . .

And when you do
The end is hard . . .

Thanks again.

John

.

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