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Open Poetry #43
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Long John and Toby Dick
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Long John and Toby Dick |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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They tell many tales of life on the sea Of sailors and pirates and things and treasures long buried on West Indies isles With riches befitting a king. They speak of the captains like Bluebeard and Blood. the legends abound - take your pick But few can compare to the curious case Of Long John and old Toby Dick. Toby Dick was a porpoise whose purpose was clear, To badger Long John endlessly. He'd taunt him with tricks that were meant to incense Whenever John put out to sea. He'd roll on his back with his tongue sticking out Or do some incredible flip. One time he made Long John sprawl out on the deck By leaping the bow of the ship. "Enough!" screamed out Long John. "I'll take this no more!" "These antics are making me sick." "Harpoons at the ready!", he yelled to the crew. "We're going to hunt Toby Dick." So off they set sail on that cold winter morn To salvage Long John's wounded pride. He knew that, before long. his porpoiseful foe Would be seen swimming up alongside. Three miles out to see that vile villain appeared with A handkerchief stuck in it's nose And the crew jumped to act as the lookout on high In the crow's nest screamed out, "Thar she blows!" Long John grabbed the harpoon to throw at the beast. In a hurry, poor John didn't see That the rope of the harpoon was wrapped 'round his leg And he threw himself out in the sea!!!! The last thing they saw with their horror-filled eyes Was Long John being twirled with delight And, with one final flip several feet in the air Toby swallowed him down with one bite! The captain Long John was not seen after that. The man simply vanished from sight And legends were told over whiskey and beer How the porpoise ate Long John that night. Two years after that, Long John washed up ashore At the Passions in Poetry site. BY his rambles and raves it was easy to see That the poor old man's head wasn't right. He dribbled a lot and his hands always shook Like the hands of an old-timer do And, shortly thereafter, someone caught Toby Dick, Who was placed in the Buffalo Zoo. The porpoises there treated him like a god, A great hero that gave fish some pride. For all of the fish that got caught by a hook Toby Dick scored a point for their side. One porpoise said, "Toby, you did a great job Making Long John look like Barney Fife And we heard that a book will be written of you called 'The Porpoise Driven Life' " "But we don't understand why you let the man go After so many years being chased." Toby Dick simply smiled as he said with a grin, "That sailor had too little taste." So here we are stuck with Long John once again And his tastelessness on full display. Too bad Toby Dick can't come back from the past And carry the sailor away! |
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| © Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
lol -Juju |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
lots of smiles...loved your literary references  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFLMAO... Isn't it amazing how someone so tasteless can add such spice? *G* Delightful ditty 'bout the ole kitty kicker! *G* |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Is it true that Toby Dick is not a social disease? |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
I am a rookie, too new at this site, to get the full "Jest of the Jest", But from what I have read, and the responses given, John seams to be the "Best of the Best". Truely enjoy the banter, And the poetry is Top Notch. WT. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The Buffalo Zoo, you say?!? I'm on my way to release Toby Dick and bring him aboard the great ship LollyPip so he can finish his meal of Long John Silver bells and 'cuckold' shells! Hardy har har Great tail! er, "tale"! Loves 'n Laughs, Lindylou |
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Vestibular Bard Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284New York |
This is simply hilarious...I am in awe. |
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OldPalOldBuddy New Member
since 2008-12-13
Posts 7 |
Balladeer, you are a great storyteller!!!Terrific epic. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Sounds like a whale of a time all to no porpoise......!?! But then that's just me.......Tis a fine ode tis....... Eric [This message has been edited by ethome (12-16-2008 12:34 PM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
hahaha~~ just what I needed. I love it when you guys get going an excellent tail...I mean tale  M |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Don't listen to them 'Deer - they are just repeating what they heard everybody else say. I laughed out loud at your great puns. Terrific humor there. Hey, Frannie - great job of ghost writing! Thanhks for that great poem, Mike. I laughed out at the numerous puns and twists. You are the King. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I had a big smile when I read this one Balladeer, you wrote it well. enjoyed. Lindsay |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You always make this look so darn easy when I for one (as you are well aware) know it's not. Very, very cute! I loved Toe's comment too ((^*)) |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You have never lost the knack. Love this."late" |
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