navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #43 » Long John and Toby Dick
Open Poetry #43
Post A Reply Post New Topic Long John and Toby Dick Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2008-12-08 12:10 PM


They tell many tales of life on the sea
Of sailors and pirates and things
and treasures long buried on West Indies isles
With riches befitting a king.
They speak of the captains like Bluebeard and Blood.
the legends abound - take your pick
But few can compare to the curious case
Of Long John and old Toby Dick.

Toby Dick was a porpoise whose purpose was clear,
To badger Long John endlessly.
He'd taunt him with tricks that were meant to incense
Whenever John put out to sea.
He'd roll on his back with his tongue sticking out
Or do some incredible flip.
One time he made Long John sprawl out on the deck
By leaping the bow of the ship.

"Enough!" screamed out Long John. "I'll take this no more!"
"These antics are making me sick."
"Harpoons at the ready!", he yelled to the crew.
"We're going to hunt Toby Dick."
So off they set sail on that cold winter morn
To salvage Long John's wounded pride.
He knew that, before long. his porpoiseful foe
Would be seen swimming up alongside.

Three miles out to see that vile villain appeared with
A handkerchief stuck in it's nose
And the crew jumped to act as the lookout on high
In the crow's nest screamed out, "Thar she blows!"
Long John grabbed the harpoon to throw at the beast.
In a hurry, poor John didn't see
That the rope of the harpoon was wrapped 'round his leg
And he threw himself out in the sea!!!!

The last thing they saw with their horror-filled eyes
Was Long  John being twirled with delight
And, with one final flip several feet in the air
Toby swallowed him down with one bite!
The captain Long John was not seen after that.
The man simply vanished from sight
And legends were told over whiskey and beer
How the porpoise ate Long John that night.

Two years after that, Long John washed up ashore
At the Passions in Poetry site.
BY his rambles and raves it was easy to see
That the poor old man's head wasn't right.
He dribbled a lot and his hands always shook
Like the hands of an old-timer do
And, shortly thereafter, someone caught Toby Dick,
Who was placed in the Buffalo Zoo.


The porpoises there treated him like a god,
A great hero that gave fish some pride.
For all of the fish that got caught by a hook
Toby Dick scored a point for their side.
One porpoise said, "Toby, you did a great job
Making Long John look like Barney Fife
And we heard that a book will be written of you
called 'The Porpoise Driven Life' "

"But we don't understand why you let the man go
After so many years  being chased."
Toby Dick simply smiled as he said with a grin,
"That sailor had too little taste."
So here we are stuck with Long John once again
And his tastelessness on full display.
Too bad Toby Dick can't come back from the past
And carry the sailor away!


© Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
1 posted 2008-12-08 12:29 PM


lol

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2008-12-08 12:38 PM


lots of smiles...loved your literary references
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2008-12-08 09:19 AM


ROFLMAO... Isn't it amazing how someone so tasteless can add such spice? *G*

Delightful ditty 'bout the ole kitty kicker! *G*

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2008-12-08 09:23 AM


Is it true that Toby Dick is not a social disease?
WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
5 posted 2008-12-08 09:30 AM


I am a rookie, too new at this site, to get the full  "Jest of the Jest",
But from what I have read, and the responses given,
John seams to be the "Best of the Best".

Truely enjoy the banter, And the poetry is Top Notch.

WT.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2008-12-08 10:17 AM


The Buffalo Zoo, you say?!? I'm on my way to release Toby Dick and bring him aboard the great ship LollyPip so he can finish his meal of Long John Silver bells and 'cuckold' shells! Hardy har har

Great tail! er, "tale"!

Loves 'n Laughs,
Lindylou

Vestibular Bard
Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284
New York
7 posted 2008-12-15 12:18 PM


This is simply hilarious...I am in awe.
OldPalOldBuddy
New Member
since 2008-12-13
Posts 7

8 posted 2008-12-15 01:46 PM


Balladeer, you are a great storyteller!!!Terrific epic.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
9 posted 2008-12-15 02:59 PM


Sounds like a whale of a time all to no porpoise......!?!


But then that's just me.......Tis a fine ode tis.......


Eric

[This message has been edited by ethome (12-16-2008 12:34 PM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2008-12-15 05:33 PM


hahaha~~ just what I needed.


I love it when you guys get going

an excellent tail...I mean tale

M

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
11 posted 2008-12-16 08:24 AM


Don't listen to them 'Deer - they are just repeating what they heard everybody else say.

I laughed out loud at your great puns.  Terrific humor there.  Hey, Frannie - great job of ghost writing!

Thanhks for that great poem, Mike.  I laughed out at the numerous puns and twists.  You are the King.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2008-12-16 05:33 PM


enjoyed
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
13 posted 2008-12-17 09:26 PM



I had a big smile when I read this one Balladeer, you wrote it well. enjoyed.

Lindsay

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2008-12-17 10:41 PM


You always make this look so darn easy when I for one (as you are well aware) know it's not.  Very, very cute!  I loved Toe's comment too ((^*))
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
15 posted 2008-12-24 05:54 PM


You have never lost the knack. Love this."late"
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #43 » Long John and Toby Dick

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary