Open Poetry #43 |
Conversation about a girl |
kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
Poets spend most their days Describing things in fancy ways. But one day I came to find, All my thoughts have left my mind. A poet who is lost for words, Don’t be silly, how absurd. A thoughtless mind, oh how bliss, How on earth did you manage this? Well on a wonder I saw a girl, With a summer smile and springing curls Then the next day I tried to right, I sat up dazed all through the night. Oh by Jove, now I see, Another flower attracts a bee. Does this beauty include her mind? Or is that something you’re yet to find. Well my friend we’ll never know, I fear her smile will fade and go. Let her beauty be a reserve For a smile I feel I don’t disserve Well young sir I hope you’re right, For the sake of yet more sleepless nights. If a Bee likes a flower he should all ways try And not stop to think for reasons why |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Kudanesh, The thought behind this is fine. Remember, poetry does not have to rhyme. I'd smooth this out, and try for simplicity. Bobby |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Some girls can surely cause some sleepless nights! Glad to see you are back and with such a lovely "conversation about a girl". And remember: you DO deserve her lovely smile! Love, Margherita "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I enjoyed this precious, poetic conversation about a girl! It would appear that the flower has inspired a bee-autiful poem! Someone who can write so sweetly and tenderly is most assuredly worthy of her smile ~ and more! lol EA |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
thank you for all your kind words nice to see you all again |
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