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Open Poetry #43
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A Life
| Open Poetry #43 |
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A Life |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55
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I shuffle through the market Unshaven and in tattered cloths Hoping for mis marked items My son was warm in my hands As he entered the world alone in our cabin Mother pulls her child away I walk by with uncombed hair Her cart is full for Thanksgiving Once I almost died in the Yukon I crashed a plane in the mountains See the doctor at the free clinic He talks to me like a child Does not know I once was one I have been touched by the northern lights They really do crackle The Salvation Army lady She looks at me with scorn It does not matter I have stood among a thousand eagles I want to go home |
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| © Copyright 2008 Lobsang - All Rights Reserved | |||
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I loved this. Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
But Lobsang, you will take the poet home with you and leave the world an even darker place. Ida |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yes, they crackle and those lights beckoned to you last night. They were showing you the way back to the north country. A |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, Your Sally (Salvation Army) lady friend should clue you in to the fact that what you did yesterday doesn’t amount to a hill of beans when it comes to putting bread in your jar today. Bobby [This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (11-26-2008 03:17 PM).] |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I came back to say that I thought this was a good poem. You created some strong visual images for me and I came back to read again. Thanks for sharing this poem. Alison |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
This was a poem worth reading -Juju |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
and this is a very well scripted poem.. it makes you think... thank you I wish you peace... Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
This one hooked me..nice work. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well I got across what I was trying to do but I do not think it really worked. Maybe I will try to work harder using the same concept but with more thought out images. I mean it is my life but I could have said it much better. Thanks. I am not satisfied with this in comparison with what it could be. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well I got across what I was trying to do but I do not think it really worked. Maybe I will try to work harder using the same concept but with more thought out images. I mean it is my life but I could have said it much better. Thanks. I am not satisfied with this in comparison with what it could be. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Well at least when you try you can write . . . John . |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
If you re-write it, I'd like to see it the edited version. A |
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