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poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

0 posted 2008-11-13 12:09 PM

Gratitude

''''''''''''''
The quivering fingers let the cigarette go.
Downwards, the fire faced stick of death
is falling before earth consumes its evil.
He could have been flying too. The erosions
of time, concern and space might be rushing behind
his ears, his existence, his life. He could have
taken a leap out of the bridge of presents
to put a full stop in his course. Adieu.

She captures him before anything happens.
The cursed old homeless woman, erratic, sad;
madness has brushed her temple. The dark dirt beneath
her nails is intense like earth.
“Can you gift your life?”
She asks. Close eyes, my boy. You can feel like dead
still life tastes better in any case. Tear
rivers down his eyes. He knows it is gratitude
to the nameless mad woman, the earth, the verve. Life.

clever talks delay friendship!

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

1 posted 2008-11-13 12:57 PM

Wow, powerful write, Ku. The old woman comes alive in this. I can almost see her.
Ida

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2008-11-13 02:12 PM

Compelling, sensitive, beautiful and real, as always! I enjoyed the bond between the nameless, homeless, mad old woman and the young man. I think she needed him, as much as he needed her. I think that she was also grateful to him for his gratitude and for needing her. I also love how the poem started with images of death and ended with images of life.

- Owl

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2008-11-13 02:16 PM

Outstanding write, my friend. Thank you for sharing this vignette.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2008-11-13 05:42 PM

quote:
He could have
taken a leap out of the bridge of presents
to put a full stop in his course. Adieu.

She captures him before anything happens.

She was an Angel in disguise and helped him to SEE and appreciate life, because there is always a way out from despair.

Dear Ku, my young Poet friend, you bless us with an intense and beautiful write once again.

Love,
Margherita

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

5 posted 2008-11-20 01:32 AM

Ku,

Ida is right. This is powerful. I think it is among the best of yours that I have read. I am glad that I missed it so I could savor it tonight.

Alison

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