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Open Poetry #43

Tired...

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

0 posted 2008-09-23 10:08 PM

I'm so sick and tired of this never ending fire
as it's sending the pain straight to my fictitious attire
It's ridiculous, I always come off as inconspicuous
up until my seriousness causes me to become furious
my mind becomes delirious, I see nothing but white
body's ready to fight, for the wrong reasons or right
blind to emotion, as this commotion causes explosions
erosion of judgment causes deficient compulsions
heading straight through I utter words of confusion
blind rage fusions with suicidal illusions
choices become impaired, as I dare to continue
chalk around my victims as I stand in the venue
I laugh and walk in the darkness, broken and cold
bold enough to spit on the face of the shackles that hold

WTBAKELAR

Senior Member

since 2008-09-09

Posts 1089
Utah, USA

1 posted 2008-09-24 02:18 PM

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think if you put a beat to it and some old music from a lost artist, you could have a RAP song.

Well done.

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

2 posted 2008-09-24 03:31 PM

Thanks, one of my many styles is RAPoetry

I have many other styles I can do, just this particular style I enjoy the most.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2008-09-24 04:25 PM

definitely a good song; i enjoyed the rhymes...

regards

yann

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2008-09-27 06:57 PM

I agree - this reads very well and I really appreciate how you have cleaned up your spelling. It makes your work so much more fun to read.

It's good to see you still posting and writing.

Alison

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