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poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

0 posted 2008-09-12 09:47 AM

A time to build

He looks at it, the residue, the left over.
He has to try. It is nature. The way he can
fly, the way he knows it is the season to find
love, he has to try. Try to build. His little nest.

The female one is too withdrawn. Still her eyes are
transfixed on the broken shells, half eaten eggs and
bits of their nest. The male bird is looking for
a safer place, if there is one ever. New nest.

A cruel yet neutral sun is watching them.
Snakes may return but the life must go on.

clever talks delay friendship!

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-09-12 10:00 AM

Yo Poddarku,

I like this loads. The idea is great, and you make excellent poetic use of sentence fragments.

Bobby

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

2 posted 2008-09-12 02:41 PM

Very sad, Ku. You understand life, in general, very well and it always shows in your writing.
Ida

TheAnonDavid
Member

since 2008-08-28

Posts 237
UK

3 posted 2008-09-12 03:12 PM

The constant in all life is that life must go on.
Thia is a poem redolent with the sheer grit that drives that urge.

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2008-09-12 06:22 PM

Sigh, dear Ku, this is so sad! The food chain has its cruel aspects!
Very effectfully rendered, as always, dear Poet.
Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

5 posted 2008-09-13 11:01 AM

My dilemma is that my tears are flowing for both birds, particularly the female, but I love snakes too (and whether I do or don't is irrelevant - as others, including you - have said more effectively and/or more succinctly, snakes have to eat too). The part about the female bird - and the little would-have-been lives that expired - keeps stabbing my heart.

- Owl

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2008-09-15 08:52 PM

A sensitive write, as always from your pen.
Scenes such as this remind us the entire food chain is the fundamental law of survival for all living beings.

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