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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Forbidden Fruit
Open Poetry #42
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sephiroth
New Member
since 2008-02-23
Posts 4
0 posted 2008-02-28 11:59 AM


Your love is like forbidden fruit
Never to own, only ever to look
As society is a cruel mistress
In formality my heart must dress

She says that we can never be
Due to reasons only she can see
I'f not for her you'd be in my arms
never allowed to come to harm

And now as i bow my head
My heart feels like it's made of lead
I wan't to show you how i care
But i'm not sure if i can dare

To act against unwritten laws
To fight oppression for my cause
To liberate my heart for you
I only wish i knew what to do
© Copyright 2008 Alexander Steen Stewart - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-02-28 02:10 PM

Sephiroth,

One thing that you can try is to capitalize your first person singular pronoun "I", even when it's used in a contraction such as "I'm".

Bobby
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
2 posted 2008-02-28 04:00 PM

a good poem. love the read.
simon
Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440
London, England
3 posted 2008-02-29 09:02 AM

enjoyed...
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Forbidden Fruit

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