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Open Poetry #42
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A Man......
| Open Poetry #42 |
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A Man...... |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
A man who strikes a woman….. IS NOT A MAN A man who humiliates and belittles a woman… IS NOT A MAN! A man who torments a woman with unkind and distasteful words… IS NOT A MAN! A man who takes out his insecurities on a woman… IS NOT A MAN! A man whose jealousy drives him to lash out on a woman... IS NOT A MAN! A man who accuses a woman of actions, he is probably guilty of… IS NOT A MAN! A man who uses a guilt trip on a woman to get his ways … IS NOT A MAN! A man who uses a woman's weaknesses against her to manipulate… IS NOT A MAN! A true man is one who admits when he is guilty A true man is one who will cry without feeling shame… A true man is one who will say "I am Sorry" when his actions hurt someone they love A true man is one who will walk away and state the reason, knowing full well that in staying he would hurt the one he loves… A true man is one who would never use violence to control, condition, train, punish a woman, or teach them a lesson A woman should never feel fear to be with the one she loves… A woman should never feel shattered, because she was violated physically.. Raping her of her spirit with that first blow… Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
There is no justification to the hurt inflicted by a man's blows… there is no justification to the diminishing of any human being… A man who hits a woman, even if she throws the first punch, is only showing their insecurities as a man… Its their way of letting the world know who the man is… WHAT A MAN! It makes them feel in control, when in reality they have no control… There is no reason why a woman should tolerate such abuse… Neither worth the tears nor the time… In the long run, when a man shakes you that one time... it escalates to more serious outcomes… Walking away can save your life, even if it breaks your heart… Thank You "K" for sharing your story.. You show great courage... and your will to survive and live through your horror, is amazing! This one is for you and those who have been victims of any type of abuse… I was… and I was lucky I walked away long ago, even though it broke my heart… Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
I'm not sure if this is a poem or not but I am in complete agreement as a man, that this behavior is NOT manly. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
My dear Garapan I am not sure if this could be considered a poem, some people see it as such.. However, I wanted to share this expression of thought here ... Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: How very true! Thank you for sharing this powerful poem, hopefully it will give the courage to those who live such tremendous experiences to step out ... There is more violence behind the walls of homes than we might suspect. It's good to speak up! Love, Margherita |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Dear Jen, As usual you reached inside me, and make me want to reveal so much of me to you ... This poem indicates that you have known much pain and feelings of rage, bitterness and maybe even hatred. Humiliation. It almost seems that you have known years of battering and abuse by neurotic and out of control jerks, and that you have somehow come to terms with whatever it was that happened ... You make me want to reveal to you ...okay this is rather confidential ... Okay ... a close friend moved away, but we agreed we would find a way to talk, by email or whatever other medium. When her emails came less and less often, and seemed shorter and shorter, at first I wasn't concerned. People are busy after all with work and whatever is going on with them, and you have to be patient. But then it seemed that, even though I was telling her about my life, she quit responding altogether, and it seemed she wasn't even bothering to read my emails. I became alarmed and rather frightened really Were we still friends, as we agreed? Why wasn't she writing me anymore? How was it that we couldn't even talk, telephone, or anything? Then, since I knew of no way to reach her, I posted an angry bitter poem on Pips hoping that maybe she would see that and get the hint. It was a thinly veiled write where I said that she only wrote to me when prompted, when she had to, like some thing that was done out of politeness and that she didn't seem to care about me anymore. Even though it was 2 years ago I still feel badly about some of the things I said to her in my so called "poem." She did write to me immediately. She said she was living with this guy, that she intended to stay with him, and she didn't have time to write anymore. This I could accept, (well, okay, I really couldn't) but if we were still friends, then why the hell couldn't we even talk? She still wouldn't talk to me, so out of desperation to somehow reach her, I wrote a very long and personal letter, and since I knew she would read it if it appeared to be a "poem," I posted it on Pip. The content of this post was wholly inappropriate for open poetry and it was removed, but it only needed to be there just long enough for her to see it, until the moderators took it off. That was only the second time that they had ever removed a post from me. t It had personal details and addresses and I asked her to please, please, talk to me and tell me what is going on, just as I had been telling her what was going on in my life? And I wept with an I was almost inconsolable. After a few more exchanges, it finally all came out. We discovered that she had no idea that the emails she sent to me were not even reaching me, and that for some reason the ones I was sending her weren't even getting through. She had been having trouble with her connection, changed ISP several times, that her e mail just worked when it just felt like it, and she was trying to straighten it out. And once it worked long enough for us to talk, it was as I had wanted to believe. We were still friends for life, nothing like what happened was ever, ever meant to happen on purpose ... I even now still feel badly about the junk I wrote and whether I should have Sunshine or one of the moderators to delete that stuff, witch is now in the archives. This was a kind of painful object lesson, such as you describe, I had to work through the feelings of anger, insecurity and the feeling that I was being ignored. But that has not been the end of it. I responded to a poem that touched me very deeply. I hoped that we could write and I could tell her something of my life. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Then it seemed like I was doing all the writing but I thought, people are busy and get use to it. Right about this time I was having an argument of sorts with Ron about my pip account, because he registered me again on pip without telling me, and when I tried to do it, it got ungodly complicated, I got fed up arguing with him over which email to use or not use or which username or whether to use this or that password. Even though it seemed like there were still problems, like I wasn't getting email notification messages, at least I could post again and just leave it alone. I am one who get concerned if I don't think I am getting enough email, so when I didn't get enough, I thought, get use to it ,right? Tot one day I felt too lonely, and thought I could at least post something like that. When I looked at the replies, they said they said they had been trying to email me and the messages kept bouncing back to them. Very shortly Midnitesun wrote me, somehow she got through, that others were having trouble trying to email. This was truly the first time I was aware there was a problem, but it had been going on for months, nobody was neglecting me, or anything. It originated with the dispute I had with wrong, and we figured out that one of my email accounts, the one I had given Pips, was bouncing and was not any good. So then I went back into my profile and changed the addy to the correct one, and for the first time in an awful eternity the email started to work normally again. And then I picked up some contact on IM so that we could talk and would not need to be too dependent on email anymore. Let's see ... I guess I wandered away from the ideas in your poem? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... But yes, you are indeed the mind-body-soul of passions!!! x:------------)x BTW: it took me two hours to write this letter1!) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
You have mentioned many reasons not to stay...for only within a relationship can these insecurites be made manifest...James |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
While I likely fully concur with all that was said in this 'write'...I don't feel that it constitutes 'poetry' in any way...[individual and collective 'venting therapy' perhaps?] I truly hope the need to pen some of these kinds of 'writes' and 'responses' dissipates in the lives of those who have been subjected to such atrocities of 'life' in general and human behavior specifically. I must also mention that I have always been quite dedicated to behaving like a true gentleman (the 'real man' descriptions in this penning)...and I keep hearing women stating that is what they really want in a potential 'life-partner'...and yet many (most?) of the women I've know seem to have been (subliminally?) extremely drawn (attracted) to (unconsciously? fascinated by) the 'dangerous' bad boy/macho-chauvinistic types... [NOT the 'nice guys' they SAY they want in their lives!]...perhaps it involves deep (and unfortunate) 'biological imperatives' in our species?!.... |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
Dear secondhanddreampoet.... I personally know exactly what you mean about women asking to be treated a certain way, but falling for the bad boys... I have to say that it is more like a fear of not being able to meet the gentleman's expectations... since we have grown so used to dealing with the bad boys... I for one, have lost the image, of what it is like to be around a gentleman, not an excuse, but a fact. Maybe one of these days, i will be honored to meet one, and not run away but stick around and see what it is like...  Thank you for your words of wisdom! Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
By negative 'biologic imperatives' I meant, of course, that it may simply be 'hard wired' in our D.N.A. (and reinforced by 'social conditioning' amid this "Runaway American Dream") for many (most?) men to tend toward aggressive/macho-chauvinistic/controlling behavior... and many (most?) women to be unconsciously 'drawn' to such 'bad boys'...perhaps such genetics was 'naturally selected' during our early ancestral days when individuals with such traits appeared the 'fittest' to survive (and produce offspring with similar ‘high survival tendency’ traits)?!..in a way we are (beyond a point) 'prisoners of our distant past' I,for one, have learned the hard way that the cliche is rather accurate: "Nice guys finish last" in life and love... |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. And what of someone who simply leaves before out of self-esteem, out of fear of becoming this woman beating belittling thing; is he a man? “A true man is one who will cry without feeling shame…” Now that must be an interesting country . . . Where is it?* * We are not talking about tears over the death of a friend are we? . |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
My dear Huan Yi I was one who left out of self esteem and fear that it may happen again... Even though it broke my heart. And I have seen true men cry without feeling shame... Those men who are connected with their true self, and allow themselves to feel and express without the hang-ups of the machismo syndrome.. This piece was inspired by a woman who shared her story with me, who was too scared to leave her abusive husband, but in her last beating her unborn child was killed and she was put in a comma for 6weeks.. Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I could never figure out how anyone could equate love with being put into a comma. Silly me! And Bruce is right, I have heard so many women say. "I like bad boys" or "I need someone who can control me" etc. Trouble is they then drag children onto the battleground to suffer from the trama of an endless war. I speak from experience having been one of those children. Ida |
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MindBodySoul Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196NJ |
My dear Ida I agree with you 100%.. My fear was not of him, but of it happening again so I left... Some women just can't do it... Their fear of them and their need to be loved and probably they were victims of abuse... That it is a normal way of life... I could never understand that, but I am sorry that you have experienced such violence in your life... Jen--->MindBodySoul |
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FastForward Member
since 2008-06-29
Posts 66 |
Power in these words. I'm sharing with a co-worker who really needs this encouragement --- to be strong and not doubt. Good write. |
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