navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Si je te Manques Parfois - with translation
Open Poetry #42
Post A Reply Post New Topic Si je te Manques Parfois - with translation Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2008-06-24 08:49 AM



SI JE TE MANQUES PARFOIS
1 January 1983

Si je te manques parfois,
regarde le soleil
ou la lune et les étoiles
et tu vas sentir
que je fais autant
au même soleil
à la même lune
aux mêmes étoiles
et tu ne sentiras pas
si triste.

IF YOU MISS ME SOMETIMES
1 January 1983

If you miss me sometimes,
look at the sun
or the moon and the stars
and you will feel
that I am doing the same
to the same sun
to the same moon
to the same stars
and you won’t feel
so sad.

- Owl

© Copyright 2008 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2008-06-24 09:20 AM


beautiful
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
2 posted 2008-06-24 09:24 AM


Thank you, Dixie.

- Owl

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
3 posted 2008-06-24 12:13 PM


I know Owl you wouldn' t be offended it I give some corrections for the french poem


Si je te manques parfois,
regarde le soleil
ou la lune et les étoiles
et tu vas sentir
que je regarde au même instant
le même soleil
la même lune
les mêmes étoiles
et tu ne te sentiras pas
si triste.

Owl, voila comment j'ai compris ton poème il y a vait juste deux incorrections:

j'en fais autant
tu ne te sentiras

j'espère que tu ne m'en voudras pas d'avoir donné quelques indications, sache que c'est un poème d'une évidente beauté que j'aurais aimé écrire moi même...

  Have a nice day

  yann

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2008-06-24 01:09 PM


Beautiful! It's proof your French is quite good when Yann needs to adjust only a line or two!
In French and English, this reads so tenderly!

KeyLimeSorbet
Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 74
Colorado
5 posted 2008-06-24 02:42 PM


This is beautiful! I went through one of my phases where i tried to write poetry in french, turns out none of it ended up making sense haha. You mastered it much better than i! Je l'adore!
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2008-06-24 03:05 PM


Naturellement, je ne t'en voudrais pas pour les corrections!  Merci beaucoup pour la façon gentille dont tu l'as fais.

Thank you Kacy for your kind response.

Thank you KeyLimeSorbet.  

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Si je te Manques Parfois - with translation

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary