Si je te Manques Parfois - with translation

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Open Poetry #42

Si je te Manques Parfois - with translation

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2008-06-24 08:49 AM

SI JE TE MANQUES PARFOIS
1 January 1983

Si je te manques parfois,
regarde le soleil
ou la lune et les étoiles
et tu vas sentir
que je fais autant
au même soleil
à la même lune
aux mêmes étoiles
et tu ne sentiras pas
si triste.

IF YOU MISS ME SOMETIMES
1 January 1983

If you miss me sometimes,
look at the sun
or the moon and the stars
and you will feel
that I am doing the same
to the same sun
to the same moon
to the same stars
and you won’t feel
so sad.

- Owl

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2008-06-24 09:20 AM

beautiful

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2008-06-24 09:24 AM

Thank you, Dixie.

- Owl

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2008-06-24 12:13 PM

I know Owl you wouldn' t be offended it I give some corrections for the french poem

Si je te manques parfois,
regarde le soleil
ou la lune et les étoiles
et tu vas sentir
que je regarde au même instant
le même soleil
la même lune
les mêmes étoiles
et tu ne te sentiras pas
si triste.

Owl, voila comment j'ai compris ton poème il y a vait juste deux incorrections:

j'en fais autant
tu ne te sentiras

j'espère que tu ne m'en voudras pas d'avoir donné quelques indications, sache que c'est un poème d'une évidente beauté que j'aurais aimé écrire moi même...

Have a nice day

yann

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2008-06-24 01:09 PM

Beautiful! It's proof your French is quite good when Yann needs to adjust only a line or two!
In French and English, this reads so tenderly!

KeyLimeSorbet
Member

since 2008-03-05

Posts 74
Colorado

5 posted 2008-06-24 02:42 PM

This is beautiful! I went through one of my phases where i tried to write poetry in french, turns out none of it ended up making sense haha. You mastered it much better than i! Je l'adore!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2008-06-24 03:05 PM

Naturellement, je ne t'en voudrais pas pour les corrections! Merci beaucoup pour la façon gentille dont tu l'as fais.

Thank you Kacy for your kind response.

Thank you KeyLimeSorbet.

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