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Open Poetry #42
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Sipping Sulfur
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Sipping Sulfur |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
One walks sleeping, two take turns. Three need keeping, cuatro burns. The sky a gloaming blue backgrounds green-black leaves. Windows open to the coming night. One hangs ringing, two kneel down. Three ride singing, quatre, a clown. Blue deepens into something other. Leaves stir unseen, a murmur through windows that leak night. One drops choking, two break free. Three crows croaking, fier for me. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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| © Copyright 2008 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Sounds like some ritual that brings goosebumps. Great rhythm in this, impressive scenery. Love, Margherita |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
interesting! |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This is interesting and I like it. A |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I'm not quite sure that I have a handle on this one, Pilgrim, but you certainly created an atmosphere! "The sky a gloaming blue backgrounds green-black leaves. Windows open to the coming night." I have always been a bit wary of crows ~ and ravens! I suppose I've seen too many horror flicks with them in it!  I would prefer nightingales outside my open windo at night! ~ But the crows made for a far more intriguing poem!   Linda |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
You guys are so sweet! I have to explain about this poem, but I don't understand it, so I don't know how. I was sitting as the day turned into night, watching a tree through the half-open window, as the sky and the leaves changed colors. And then my muse walked by hefting a frozen flounder and whacked me upside the head with it and this thing wrote itself. I had to post it or I couldn't get it out of my head. I apologize, but I knew you wouldn't mind.  Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Nan, your explanation cracked me up! That's some muse you have there! Mine's a timid little fairy! lol lol Sleep sweet this night ~ if your muse will let you! Beddy-bye hugs, Linda |
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BugBuggy Member
since 2005-12-19
Posts 130michigan |
sort of dark sort of scary but it was wonderful to read it BugBuggy |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Linda, I'll trade muses with you, and throw in a bag of kibble. Your poetry is always so well-thought-out, and your phrasing is lovely. I have to rassle mine down to the ground and pummel it to get any sense at all half the time. (The main problem is, it pummels right back, and I'm a big coward so I whine and cry and run away) Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I think your muse does just fine in the writing department. You just have to tame that wild child down a tad! ~ For your own safety! lol ~ and thanks for the kind comment. Linda |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 What a hearty laugh you gave me with this read!As for that attack muse? maybe you could wear a garlic necklace? Naw, she gifted you something worth saving into my library of indescribable goodies that hit me in the solar plexus. Give her a neck wrenching hug, ok? BTW, I totally loved this: "Leaves stir unseen, a murmur through windows that leak night". |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This is an interesting counting poem. It's a bit more esoteric than your usual and some of those are vague. If I was into the classics I would say it's about blood and death especially death. The sky colours are interesting and it's like watching a day passing into night which again leads into death. I'm feeling a bit like for whom the bell tolls right now so you did well to evoke such strong emotion. Always do more than is required of you George Patton |
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