Open Poetry #42 |
Coda |
Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. The dead end Of a small town Park lake The water hardly flows Occasionally though There are ripples When the wind is strong Sometimes then You can hear a rustle Of leaves mingle With the wail of trains That seem to be mourning Some forgotten tragedy As they pass by And from a hill not that tall Where there is one picnic table A pair of swings never used You can watch the geese Without a sound on silent wings Come down from the sky . |
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© Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I could just imagine myself on that swing watching the geese come down ... This scenery is very captivating! Love, Margherita |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
John, This is very descriptive. Geese can have a mean streak if I remember right. Bobby |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
so descriptive with such an air of peace and rest |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
You have a real gift of the word! This is so real as to be touched by the fingers of mind, and hand! I am taken there with serenity as my companion. Well done, Huan Yi! Art |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is very dicriptive and presents me with a vivid picture, reminding me of some place I have been before. Ida |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
John, Your eyes often look to places that I have been and you paint the pictures with such clarity. Beautiful - Alison |
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unboundpoetess Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477 |
You took me there. Thanks for sharing your gift, ~H |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This is probably my very favourite of all your poems. It is dripping with untold, secret stories - yours, ours, and those painted into this exquisite poem that cries out to be read over and over again. It is like a mysterious painting that one can't take one's eyes off and that one feels a deep affinity for and that one sees more and more the deeper one looks into it. Thank you for this treasure. - Owl |
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