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2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2008-05-09 05:38 PM

It rained on Times Square,
On the hotdog sellers,
On the rushed raincoats,
On the jealous look of women,
It rained on the yellow cabs
To Heaven,
It rained on Times Square,
On the peasants of the asphalt,
It rained on the commercial screens,
On the PANASONIC strip,
It rained informations
As cold as a girl who dumps her lover,
It rained war images
More dreadful than all the thoughts
From all the men together,
It rained on Times Square
on my romantic solitude
Now I’m soaked for the entire life.

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (05-10-2008 02:04 AM).]

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-05-09 08:28 PM

Yo Yann,

Times Square will do that to you. I laughed on your last line. Times Square is a beautiful place.

I remember as a kid, my grandfather brought me out of a subway onto Times Square at night. It's a sight I have never forgotten.

Bobby

AAB
Member

since 2008-04-10

Posts 99
Canada

2 posted 2008-05-09 10:58 PM

Very nice. I rember puddle jumping on a trip to NY once in gr 10, I soaked my best friend and me. She didn't know weather to laugh or yell so she splashed me back

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while" The Princess Bride

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2008-05-10 01:31 AM

Lots of great visuals seen through your rain.

Enjoyed your poem, islander~

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

4 posted 2008-05-10 01:43 AM

Thank you Bobby, even as a french I visited New York twice and keep delicious memories...

Thanks for your comment

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2008-05-10 01:46 AM

Thank you AAB for sharing your concern memories...In a place like Times Square they sure are great, as sure as when we are 10 years old a lot of things are great...

have a nice day

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

6 posted 2008-05-10 01:47 AM

Thanks to you Blue Serenade...

yann

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

7 posted 2008-05-10 01:55 AM

yann,

You know, I love this one and saved it to my library.

One small, picky grammatical issue

"As cold as a girl who dumps his lover"

This should be "her lover" maybe? Loving this poem, yann. Thank you.

Alison

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

8 posted 2008-05-10 02:04 AM

Thank you Alison for your help...It's very nice to correct me, I didn't see the mistake before you told me about it...It is funny; it doesn't work like in french where we would write his lover (son amoureux)

hugs

yann

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

9 posted 2008-05-10 05:29 AM

Dear Yann, this is an excellent poem, I love it much! Great imagery!

But don't stay soaked for so long

May this be a sunshine week-end for you!

Love,
Margherita

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

10 posted 2008-05-10 06:20 AM

Yann, my friend -

Have I told you how much I admire those of you who post here in English when it is not your first language. You, Marherita and others have my undying respect.

A

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

11 posted 2008-05-18 08:44 AM

Yann.. mon ami... I love your words here

love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

12 posted 2008-05-18 02:20 PM

I am especially fond of :

“the rushed raincoats”;

“the peasants of the asphalt”

and:

“The image of being ‘soaked for life’
by a ‘rain’ of information(!)”

As one who has been mowed down
by the “Runaway American Dream”
and paved over by the “information
super highway”…I can relate to
this ‘penning!’

applause!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2008-05-18 02:40 PM

what a fantastic scene!

I love this!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

14 posted 2008-05-18 03:19 PM

Ouuu! nice..

ARCTIC WIND

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

15 posted 2008-05-19 11:32 PM

Well done I liked the way you kept the imagery of rain falling strong even when the meaning had changed. Loverly write
sharyn

"God made you as you are
in order to use you
as He planned" J.C. Macauley

jmjovies
Junior Member

since 2008-05-03

Posts 32
florida

16 posted 2008-05-20 12:47 PM

It rained informations
As cold as a girl who dumps her lover,
It rained war images
More dreadful than all the thoughts
From all the men together,

i liked this part the most... mostly beacuse the set-up was so good.
brilliant

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

17 posted 2008-05-20 12:56 PM

this is a cool poem! love the concept and imagery... easy to imagine myself a drop of rain and having so many life targets there at TSquare!

Well done!

R

Angel4aKing
Senior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 1372
USA

18 posted 2008-05-20 02:49 PM

This is captivating and at first thinking of a different type of rain...well I was crying by the end......

~~~kingsangel~~~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

19 posted 2008-05-20 07:04 PM

wonderful...James

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

20 posted 2008-05-21 09:40 AM

hi Margherita, always enjoy your humor and good mood...

Yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

21 posted 2008-05-21 09:41 AM

Thank you Alison and Roniece, your kind commebts pleased me.

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

22 posted 2008-05-21 09:43 AM

Hi Bruce, I'm honored by your comments, coming from a person as good as you.

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

23 posted 2008-05-21 09:45 AM

Thank you passing shadow and artic winds for your sharing and very appreciated comments.

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

24 posted 2008-05-21 09:48 AM

Hello Sharyn, when come a comment from you I'm specially pleased...

thanks to you

yann

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

25 posted 2008-05-21 09:52 AM

I've read this wonderful poem many times, yann, and I'll always enjoy the reading!

Have a great day!

Art

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

26 posted 2008-05-21 09:52 AM

Thanks to you JM, Robert, Angel4 and James for your kind and lovely comments.

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

27 posted 2008-05-21 09:54 AM

Thank You Art, I'm always honored by your comments.

yann

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

28 posted 2008-05-21 12:17 PM

have never experienced times square...but maybe i will someday...it has to be exciting to be or to have been there in the flesh. thanks for the virtual experience.

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

29 posted 2008-05-21 01:06 PM

I enjoy this more each time I read it! Great imagery and descriptive power!

Art

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

30 posted 2008-05-21 01:07 PM

I enjoy this more each time I read it! Great imagery and descriptive power!

Art

simon
Member

since 2008-01-14

Posts 440
London, England

31 posted 2008-05-21 01:48 PM

I really like this, it's such fun to read something with so many different levels...

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