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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Oriflamme
Open Poetry #42
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
0 posted 2008-04-27 12:33 PM

.


A man
With little time
To live
Can afford
His decency

A flag unfurls
On the battlefield

Which regardless
What happens

In the next few hours
Enmities

Will be rememb'red


.
© Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
1 posted 2008-04-27 01:31 AM

Powerful voice.
Beautiful.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2008-04-27 03:27 AM

Good writing as always.

  yann
tnhness
Junior Member
since 2008-04-14
Posts 15
3 posted 2008-04-27 03:32 AM

i can see the march in my mind. you create such a tense situation with very few words.
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4 posted 2008-04-27 07:04 AM

John,

I'd do something to fix the last line.

Bobby
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » Oriflamme

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