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Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2008-04-23 09:31 PM

Searching,
for the missing pieces.
Hoping,
for the distant races.
Dreaming,
for the peaceful wishes.

Wonder, imagination.
Fallen, abandoned nations.
Crying, wounded soldiers.

Searching,
for the missing pieces.
Hoping,
for the distant races.
Dreaming,
for the peaceful wishes.

Surrendered, innocence.
Blind, tainted mercy.
Trying, another plan.

Searching,
for the missing pieces.
Hoping,
for the distant races.
Dreaming,
for the peaceful wishes.

Placing, blame.
Fighting, anothers war
Breaking, down barriers.

Searching Hoping Dreaming
for the missing pieces
for the distant races
for the peaceful wishes
Searching Hoping Dreaming

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2008-04-23 09:38 PM

Kellie,

For all of your poetry, for all of your dreams, for all of your hopes,

I think this is one of the most insightful
"not for me, myself and I" poems you've ever written.

I've enjoyed the commas, the puncuation, the whole of it. I would encourage you to put it in CA, and get some higher benefit of critique.

This poem speaks for all of the young people who are searching, and you've truly reached outside yourself.

Brava!

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

2 posted 2008-04-23 09:40 PM

Nice repetive quality with a good sense of rthym. Tough to manage both amd convey a emotionally charged topic such as this.
sharyn

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2008-04-23 09:55 PM

You don't have anything to be scared of, Kellie. You write very well.
Ida

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

4 posted 2008-04-23 10:13 PM

Sunshine- Thank You I think that I will do just that. This definately isn't my usual style, but I don't think that my usual style even exists anymore. I took a lot of time to grow and learn and just get over it already. I think its all in the attitude.

Sharyn- Thanks you! I really appreciate it.

March- Thanks, sometimes its just in the silences, that is the most powerful. This poem does most of its speaking in the silences.

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