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Open Poetry #42
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In Time
| Open Poetry #42 |
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In Time |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
In Time When he left me I stopped breathing, holding everything asleep inside. Time froze- stonewalled by grief. Stopping my thoughts before I could think of you. Silencing my pain before I could remember us. Stilling my heart's cry before I could let hope in. Two years in a living masoleum, numbed by love's desertion, still wounded by love's sudden end. Emotions in ice burying the bittersweet. Yet as winter has it's season, as night defers to dawn, so a heart in it's own timing will begin the task of healing and awaken to breath again. Sugestions welcomed [This message has been edited by shyvl (04-15-2008 10:56 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 sharyn pierce - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I think this shows the importance of choosing relationships carefully...as a price is paid when a relationship fails...James |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
Thank you James--you are so right in your statements. I'm trying to remember them well sharyn |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
sad. and sad. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I think when you finally heal, you are stronger and more ready for a mature relationship with more realistic expectations. Ida |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
Thank you both for reading and taking the time to respond to my poem It is much appreciated. sharyn |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
A song well played on the lyre of the heart! I especially like the progression of thought in the effort to achieve completion---deeply felt is the poem's sincerity. Art |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
Art Thank you for your comments- I especially like the specific way you told me exactly what pleased you. That helps alot. sharyn |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Especially like the first stanza...the whole thing is 'my kind of writing' - wonderfully written. I'd make the '2 years - Two years', though. Really like this... j. (texas too) |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
jwesley- Thanks for taking the time to read and thoughtfully respond. I appreciate the praise and your helpful suggestion. sharyn |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
All which matters is truth...I like the second and fouth stanza more than the two others ...But i'm a french beginner so don't care... have a nice day. yann |
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