Open Poetry #42 |
Of Us |
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Of Us When the war started we’d been friends for a long time, lover’s almost as long. We enjoyed our days together, loved our nights, and morning was almost a rebirth of feelings at seeing one another again, after a night of sleep. We loved. But the war began. Little things. Sparks that chipped away, then blew holes in walls, destroyed foundations, tore love, destroyed Us. You lay on your side of the bed. Then the other room. Out the door – away. I – stayed, died in the emptiness of rooms once full, of Us. Of Us, who are no more – after the war. © w. james beard, jr. march 2008 (this is not about me my friends, though, I guess it could be about any of us at sometime or the other.) [This message has been edited by jwesley (03-30-2008 03:03 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2008 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
James... this left me feeling sad for you and loss of someone who was special in your life no doubt... very heartfelt words here.. I enjoyed it very much.... love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Jimmy, I wanted to read that this was not about you - I look for that little tag line on the bottom of your poetry. What a heart-wrenching poem. Beautiful and sad. Alison |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Allison --- sorry, forgot to put my disclaimer there. It is now though. j. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank God its not about you...because within your writing I know that you have someone thats special for you...James |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
and I'm pleased it's not about you too... but it is a very moving write and I came back for another read... thank you love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"I – stayed, died in the emptiness of rooms once full, of Us." you write it so well, jw M |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
You have captured this so very well...the sadness of it, the emptiness of it; a hauntingly beautiful echo in time. Excellent write Jimmy. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Sad but great writing, Jimmy. Ida |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A very poignant poem this one James, Thanks for sharing. Lindsay |
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Virtual Abyss Member
since 2008-04-09
Posts 52East Coast - USA |
James, Many of us live this literally and fictitiously in our own worlds. You captured it well! Thanks! V/r, Virtual Abyss |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know of that war too well |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
You’re an awesome poet... Your words made me feel so sad and lonely and I wanted to reach out and hug you... To write it like that without the personal experience of it is just incredible, incredible writing. Awesome. Tammy<333 |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Jimmy, for the Disclaimer. This is so beautiful I had to read it again - and I was so happy to read your message to me. Hugs, Alison |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
The war between lovers is heavy with casualities. I am glad you were not one of them. Enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing sharyn |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Very good. True story of my friend's son. very good. |
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