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Open Poetry #42
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Oh Deer .....I Toed You So !
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Oh Deer .....I Toed You So ! |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity 
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. Toerag the swine herder was forever losing stock After yet another was found murdered he devised this plot He offered a thousand dollar fee for information leading to an arrest With guaranteed anonymity (he thought that would be best) He was inundated with e mail saying just who was to blame But no body ended up in jail and the sender was always the same Now, I’m not saying Balladeer is a liar for I do not have any proof But it may add fuel to the fire when I say he is a stranger to the truth So Toerag abandoned that idea and came up with plan b Then lo & behold Balladeer sidled up, and whispered “It was me!” Toerag dialled Nine-One-One and demanded his arrest “You have got it wrong, I’m not the one!” old ‘Deer he did protest “I just sent the messages from my Pc I did not kill the bacon If you think the murderer is me, you are very much mistaken” In order to get at the truth the cops took him down the station And said if he could provide the proof he would get off with a citation He said he “I’ll do anything that you require to get off this rap” So they said he had to wear a wire for the culprit to be trapped He had no option but to agree and said there was one condition “No one must know that it was me that undertook this mission” The cops said if everything went without a hitch They would maintain his secrecy And no one would know he was the snitch From Passions in Poetry On ‘Deers first day undercover he was dismayed to discover Yet another pig laying dead, under a bridge on the homestead Toe said “If you don’t get this problem sussed, I am in danger of going bust” And when he had finished bleating Balladeer arranged a meeting This took place in secrecy with the leader of the hogs ‘Deer said I will not breathe a word that you say to me And signed his heart with a cross It turns out there had been no foul play & this point the head hog stressed They had all just decided to call it a day for they were very much depressed He swore that this tale was true & that they had chosen their final hour For they did not want to end up on a barbecue or in someone’s sweet and sour As they continued their in depth talk, out the corner of his eye ‘Deer saw another pig about to take his last walk as it sneaked out of the sty “Don’t even think about it!” the suicidal pig heard ‘Deer shout And placing his arm around it’s shoulder, said “We can work this out” Now I am happy to report the whole flock ‘Deer convinced So there will be no future shortage of Pork, Sausages or mince And the moral of this story is in the final line And no body ended up in jail because.... A Snitch in Rhyme Saved Swine... "Ignorance is the Enemy...." |
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| © Copyright 2008 John Lawrence - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Standing Ovation!! lol |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
John, a very witty write from ~ "Oh Deer....I Toed You So!" All the way down to clever closing line! "A Snitch in Rhyme Saved Swine..."  Linda  P.S. A warning: Beware! The Bug Buck and the Toe Man have sharp pens that can prick you when you aren't looking! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Oh I don't know...I think at least 3 days in jail, and some jail food, would help clear this up...James |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
From your title to the very last clever line, this will be so very much appreciated by those two I am sure. Good thing the pigs survived as Balladeer would surly die without his spam that's for darn sure!  Carpe' Diem |
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simon Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440London, England |
John, I thoroughly enjoyed this! You have said some very nice things to me (thank you for them) and I must recipracate them. I love reading your rhymes & I'm starting to tjink of you as a bit of a 'pun' King... |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
John, There are good end rhymes in this humorous poem. Bobby |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
. TD, thank you very much ! Linda, ‘Deer me, I had better be on my Toes then  Thanks for the reply & the warning...James, Better hope they keep me in solitary in case the boys have friends on the inside ! Thanks for stopping by... Mysteria, Only one way to find out if they approve or not. You think they peek at the post & quietly plot their revenge or suppose if they ignore me I’ll go away Thanks for the reply.. Simon, I am glad you enjoyed it, I, unlike others who shall remain nameless speak only the truth. You are as I have told you before, very good at your chosen style & I always look forward to you putting a new one up as I get a lot of pleasure from your witty posts. Glad you think I am ‘Punny’... Bobby, Thank you my friend. It is as you can appreciate, not easy to make the bits rhyme. I have to use a different approach with these. I start at the end & having decided on the proverb it is based on & altered that, I then have to build the tale around it. So it is quite a challenge but one that I enjoy doing. Cheers John |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You are such a fantastic storyteller, dear John. There sure will be some follow-up! Great job you performed here. Thank you for the smiles. Love, Margherita  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now just how long did it take you to dream up that one?  It was great!  |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Margherita, thank you for the compliment & I am happy to have brought a smile to your face John |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Sunshine thanks! Actually, it all came together quite quickly after the seed was sown. I am unsure whether to leave well alone or continue to rewrite the remaining proverbs. I would hate to bore every one & perhaps I should call it a day on this theme. However, I do have a 'comeback' waiting in the wings should the subjects in question respond to my taunting, watch this space ! John |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
you have mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
LOVE IT! HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY  ARCTIC WIND |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
John You had me grinning from ear to ear from start to finish. Good job. Alison |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Aw, Thanks & Happy Paddy’s day to you also, hope it is not my last…… Alison, Oh the poem? Right……I have had that response from Ladies before but not about my posting ! Glad you enjoyed….Toe, I got the ‘contract’ how soon after I sign it do I get the 10K?? |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is very funny and well written, John. Ida |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
lol, great write |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Ida & Jason, Thank you although it was never my intention to Hog the limelight.... |
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