Open Poetry #42 |
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Down On The Neurological Ward... |
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simon Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440London, England |
Down on the neurological ward We all really rue our luck. Because whilst ordinarily we'd just be quite bored We're trying to find something to do But we're all really stuck. The only thing that keeps us going Is us trying to guess and assess Who's the first? Who's the worst? Who's the best? Who's going to be toasted As the host Of next year's contest? Who is it? No-one knows for certain. So we listen carefully to the private curtains When the families come to visit. My money's on the bed opposite He's one of the Greats, a real World-Beater 9.8 on the stuck-o-meter. His brain's riddled with some kind of a disease That he probably caught off of a piece of cheese And his wife's at the end of her tether Trying to hold herself together What's she supposed to do? Her life has changed forever too. And his Mum comes every day Just to try and see him through. Enter the neurologist, Surrounded by his entourage Of student neurological doctor staff. Striding in like a King Inspecting fallen soldiers On the battlefield In the aftermath. And we just want to get some answers, We don't like to make a fuss And if anyone can Then he's the man To give what we need to us. |
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© Copyright 2008 Simon parr - All Rights Reserved | |||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Simon, This moves along well. I'd avoid starting each line with a cap. That's rather old style. Bobby |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like the flow of this...James |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Yes I enjoyed your post Simon Keep up the good work. Lindsay |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This reminds me of a very dear friend of mine - his team of doctors march in but he doesn't seem to get any better. His family is going to try to take him home tomorrow - maybe some sun, the sound of the ocean and fresh air will help. We can all only hope. Thanks for sharing this, Simon. Alison |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Simon, this was neatly put together & I liked it a lot, well up to your usual standard John |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Simon, are you actually hospitalized and in the neurological ward? Or is this just poetry ~ but VERY realistic poetry! I did get a chuckle out of your depiction of the doctor marching in like a king. Ofttimes I have thought that as well when I have gone on rounds with doctors. ![]() Linda |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
very realistic indeed! ARCTIC WIND |
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simon Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440London, England |
Fraid this is real, I was there for 1 week at the end of 2006. Thank you all so much for your comments... |
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