From my heart, To my Sarah.

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Open Poetry #42

From my heart, To my Sarah.

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

0 posted 2008-03-07 04:41 PM

Beautiful girl talking to me,
With the compassion and love that a true friend gives.
She fills my mind with thoughts of a better life.
I need this gentle touch of love now more than ever.
With the current state I'm in right now I need her.
She is the reason why I get up in the morning.
No need to feel sorry for me when you give me so much.
That light of hope and that glow of heart.
Thank you for everything you have given me here.
As long as I think of you I will never tear.

[This message has been edited by xTr3m3sT (03-07-2008 06:27 PM).]

LadyTom
Member

since 2008-02-29

Posts 353
LA, CA

1 posted 2008-03-07 04:53 PM

My heart is warmed too. How lovely it is that to read a love song frmm a person in love right now!!!!

I am happy for you!!!

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

2 posted 2008-03-07 04:54 PM

Thank you =)

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

3 posted 2008-03-07 05:46 PM

XTr3m3sT,

This is pretty good. I'd make the following changes to avoid sentence fragments.

If you change the first two lines to:

"A beautiful girl is talking to me,
with the compassion and love that a true friend gives."

you avoid the sentence fragments.

Bobby

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2008-03-09 05:06 AM

Nice to have someone to appreciate...James

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2008-03-09 10:54 AM

Yes indeed!

JamesMichael is right

ARCTIC WIND

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2008-03-09 11:00 AM

beautiful tribute!

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

7 posted 2008-03-09 11:01 AM

Thank you all.

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