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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-08-28 11:00 AM

.

A sweatshirt
In August

One of the ways
To carry
All that you own
In the world

Back in school
Were you beautiful
Did boys write poems
Filled with adoring rhymes
To your dark blond hair

Not being
Of much use
For anything else
Who now
Will approach you
If at all
With any other
But one thing in mind

It’s time for you to go
The bus is here

And no one’s waiting
To take you home

.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

1 posted 2007-08-28 01:06 PM

A rather on the dark side for you
Isn’t it?

But no matter, I like dark,
Like the brief story;
Might I add to it???

The bus was late arriving at its stop
And there was time for her to window shop
But her reflection of her that was now
Dissuaded interest in shopping somehow
Who was that woman with wrinkles of face
How has time put her in the school girl’s place

Gloom
Granted the format is not much like yours
But the thought is there
Reflecting

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2007-08-28 03:51 PM

It seems that it would be hardest for those that once were adored to lose that adoration...James

cokeiq
Junior Member

since 2007-08-24

Posts 27

3 posted 2007-08-28 05:35 PM

I like it.

But from the guy's perspectives it is also dark:

And where did a charming smile leave a shy boy standing as the pretty gals say, "no"
Turning down gently for they say
Relationships were not on their mind ... ...

A rich boy comes along taking away the lady
whose laugh was coquette,
"You're the nicest guy arond!"

(She never wanted nice guys before)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2007-08-31 10:59 AM

I even heard
the school bell ring.

Well done, John. Thank you.

TomMark
Member Elite

since 2007-07-27

Posts 2133
LA,CA

5 posted 2007-09-01 04:00 AM

Huan, nice picture.
sad poem.

did I say that one should take bus No.241 but not No.141?

[This message has been edited by TomMark (09-01-2007 05:40 AM).]

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