Open Poetry #41 |
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ablutions |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738![]() |
These cold stones were wrought as this: they pattern, prettily the eye. As such, they prove hypothesis-- the antithetic paradigm. Order, as innerviate ("art" is so inconsequent) I roll my eyes, a pair of dice. "The word" as wisdom and the price for comfort - it's the sacrifice paid so that I can sleep nights. Rows of marble hewn to ease the heavy foot of gravity compounded by complexity: symbolic - commonality. We plant each other like we're...seed. As if redemption were tidy. The very meat of us denied the scavengers which feed on truth. Grief is a corpse upon the backs of those who trespass on the suits of memory rolled in the sweet herbs and linens we decree in the stead of loving arms-- and rosaries are clenched in stiff hands to keep ridiculous superstitious thoughts of "harm" that plague us only in the flesh... plastic flowered words unsaid watered by the rivulets pouring without cease from eyes and the pounding judge of mind without mercy, justified, as finally we live the now in envy, awe, and fear of death. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-11-2007 09:19 PM).] |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"We plant each other like we're...seed. As if redemption were tidy. The very meat of us denied the scavengers which feed on truth." Jaw droppingly profound, Ser! "Plastic flowered words unsaid" -- just *hugs* honey........jojo |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
MUCH grand imagery and fine ‘food for thought’ in this important ‘write’! As a geologist and ‘Deep-Time’ Universalist, I am especially quite fond of: “cold stones…prov(ing) the antithetic paradigm” [I don't think most folks would wish to know exactly which ('crutch') paradigms have likely been disproven nor what (antithetically) still stands!]; AND: “the heavy foot of gravity compounded by complexity(!)” as well as the ending: “finally we live the now in envy, awe, and fear of death.” one tiny, humble question: what is ‘innerviate’ in line #: 5? serious, sustained applause!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
heyyyyyy "innerviate" "innerve" to provoke, but as used in context here, I hoped to deliberately provoke to think of thing into being... ![]() But I wanted to explain, and say thanks to you both! Love to all, with my humblest gratitude. ![]() |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
EXCELLENT! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
yes Karen "We plant each other like we're...seed. As if redemption were tidy." |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
like the samurai folding his silk the final time, you have found the creases in my mind here...enjoyed it ms |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
thanks for reading Love to all ![]() |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
plastic flowered words unsaid watered by the rivulets pouring without cease from eyes I'm supposed to attend a memorial service this weekend... only it seems more hurting than healing and I'm wondering why I bow to the dictates of rituals?? I guess they're all that's left... Superb, thought-provoking write, my friend! |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Anything I say after reading your poem, Karen, almost sounds superficial to me. I saved it. A |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Amazing, as always m'lady. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
read this before and took some time to "absorb" what I took from it... ![]() I decided I wouldn't share my thoughts...but rather tell you how completely compelling and thought provoking your words were for me.. but most of all they always seem to scream a truth that we all get/understand regardless of what level we are reading from at the time.. ![]() "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smile I wanted to say thank you, and some of you might know I had sent this one over to C/A saying the response here was "tepid". I owe you all an apology--you guys are always generously supportive of me and I appreciate that so much. I think it's just me who's "tepid" about this one--I read it and it's just...um, passionless and not quite the conversation I was having in my head. But maybe I did achieve part of what I was aiming at, and that was the restraint of emotion and posturing--I just like something is missing. But I sure do thank you all for your warmth, especially when I visit the 'cold places'. Love and gratitude to you all. ![]() thanks again |
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