"Sorrow's Curse" - pipTalk Forums

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Arius Miura de Galdri
Member

since 2007-07-04

Posts 90
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2008-01-12 03:24 PM

"Sorrow's Curse"

O what, I wonder, is my destiny?
Shall I roam this world alone, besieged by Sorrow's curse?
How cruel, then, would my existence be
For I can think of little that is worse...

O God, I wonder, who can rescue me?
Who will save me from this path uncertain that I tread?
I pray for love's sweet warmth to set me free
And curse myself for feelings left unsaid...

And when, I wonder, will my mourning end?
Am I doomed to spend my life beneath dark Sorrow's gaze?
I doubt it, for I know my heart will mend
And hope will lead me through these darkening days...

AMdG

"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--it gives a lovely light!" -Edna St. Vincent Millay

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2008-01-12 04:04 PM

Excellent form!
Beautiful poetry.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2008-01-12 05:09 PM

Nice writing...you will find a path that will take you further and further from sorrow...James

Bobby Jordan
Member

since 2007-08-13

Posts 491
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

3 posted 2008-01-12 05:19 PM

Arius,

This is fairly well done. I would get rid of the ellipses at the end of the strophes.

Bobby

Clang
Member

since 2005-12-15

Posts 222

4 posted 2008-01-13 08:10 AM

Good job!

tonyV
Junior Member

since 2008-01-14

Posts 36

5 posted 2008-01-14 04:24 AM

Wow.

Hats off to you, that was actually touching. The words seem to come to life.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2008-01-14 07:53 AM

"Am I doomed to spend my life beneath dark Sorrow's gaze?
I doubt it, for I know my heart will mend"
The half-full cup attitude.

Arius Miura de Galdri
Member

since 2007-07-04

Posts 90
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2008-01-14 10:19 PM

Thanks, everyone. I really do appreciate your comments and critiques!

AMdG

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

8 posted 2008-01-16 01:04 AM

I am enjoying the poems that you have posted - and learning from them. You have a fan in me.

Alison

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