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Open Poetry #41
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Arius Miura de Galdri
Member
since 2007-07-04
Posts 90
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2008-01-12 03:24 PM


"Sorrow's Curse"

O what, I wonder, is my destiny?
Shall I roam this world alone, besieged by Sorrow's curse?
How cruel, then, would my existence be
For I can think of little that is worse...

O God, I wonder, who can rescue me?
Who will save me from this path uncertain that I tread?
I pray for love's sweet warmth to set me free
And curse myself for feelings left unsaid...

And when, I wonder, will my mourning end?
Am I doomed to spend my life beneath dark Sorrow's gaze?
I doubt it, for I know my heart will mend
And hope will lead me through these darkening days...

AMdG

"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--it gives a lovely light!"  -Edna St. Vincent Millay

© Copyright 2008 Timothy Mitchal Nicholas - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2008-01-12 04:04 PM


Excellent form!
Beautiful poetry.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2008-01-12 05:09 PM


Nice writing...you will find a path that will take you further and further from sorrow...James
Bobby Jordan
Member
since 2007-08-13
Posts 491
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 posted 2008-01-12 05:19 PM


Arius,

This is fairly well done.  I would get rid of the ellipses at the end of the strophes.

Bobby

Clang
Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222

4 posted 2008-01-13 08:10 AM


Good job!
tonyV
Junior Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 36

5 posted 2008-01-14 04:24 AM


Wow.

Hats off to you, that was actually touching. The words seem to come to life.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2008-01-14 07:53 AM


"Am I doomed to spend my life beneath dark Sorrow's gaze?
I doubt it, for I know my heart will mend"
The half-full cup attitude.   

Arius Miura de Galdri
Member
since 2007-07-04
Posts 90
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2008-01-14 10:19 PM


Thanks, everyone.  I really do appreciate your comments and critiques!

AMdG

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
8 posted 2008-01-16 01:04 AM


I am enjoying the poems that you have posted - and learning from them.  You have a fan in me.

Alison

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