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Open Poetry #41
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I ask for help once more
| Open Poetry #41 |
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I ask for help once more |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
i think i have found the one to be mine her beautiful smile and her skin so fine whether she likes me i will never no unless i get the courage to ask her so her laugh is so cute and eyes are so sweet when i see her I'm light on my feet but what of the turn the type that i mean when the answer i want is no were to be seen she funny and kind and she's so smart how to impress when her last hurt her heart that's all i long for is some one to love not some i splash out on then they give me the shove this conundrum is so hard what am i to do have any ideas i put this to you my family of poets i know you'll be true I'm not a big shot with loads of money to spend if i did i would fill her needs to every end what do i do i am sat here near tears I'm not grate with these things iv known it for years at school its ok you can write a love note and if i talk to her i would probably choke and stutter my words how bad that would be i would not want her friends to laugh at her or me i thought that this stupid nerves thing would go with age but they are still here and it fills me with rage i will do any thing for her and go any distance but my nerves put out and legs give way so i ask for assistance |
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| © Copyright 2008 Andrew Hull - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
i thank any one who can help me with my stupid problem i think i know what i should do bu8t i dont know how when grrr... it just so complocated i carnt even spell it asfdbnlsd fbn'sa |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
One helpful tool is a spell checker. Only drawback is they sometimes correctly misspell a word which sounds exactly alike..... Second, always be careful of internet romances, they can be great, and at the same time, they can sometimes cause a lot of hurt. |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
sorry good sir I think that you might have misunderstood my meaning I know this girl she is a very sweet and plesent young lady. the probolem that i have is that my nerves go all weird evry time i want to tell her how i feel. i can talk to her normaly about any thing elles but when it comes ot feelings thats it I choke evry time. then agin my poetry the only people that read it are the people that go on this site no one the knows me reads my stuff nerves again |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
Be brave man and take a chance! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Andrew, you will never know how she reacts until you gather your courage and tell her ... if she is a sensitive, intelligent girl she will understand that a boy/man in love can be so tremendously emotional, that he won't bring out the words, or stutter, or say the opposite of what he wanted to say ... I think there are tons of movies telling this kind of stories. It happens to the best only! You need to put aside the rage, love yourself and reach out to her ... if you know she appreciates poetry, write a poem for her. As Clang says: be brave man and take a chance! Love, Margherita  |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
i am going to right her a poem and hope fully that will help me brake the ice a bit it is easier to right than it is to say it then again ill get it proof read thanks people of pip |
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
Andrew, Poetry first... Is English your first language, if not then you are probably doing quite well. If English is your first language you do need to take steps other than apologising for spelling to sort it out. Your poetry in meter is pretty good although ocasionally it falls out of line a little. Like written English it does need breaking into logical chunks (paragraphs-stanzas) to let the reader take a pause and absorb each section. Writing 'I' as i (small) is not only incorrect grammar but actually will stop a lot of readers continuing to even look at your work as it clashes so violently. Some words that are complete words are seperated by you into two different words changing the meaning (they may sound the same but are not): no were - nowhere some one - someone others are used wrong: no - know and others spelling destroys: iv - if All of this is distracting from reasonable verse. Whether English is you main language or not I would suggest the way to improve on this is to actually read a lot. You will learn more from this than trying to learn the language by tutorial methods. Your second problem seems also to be related to you self esteem (shown by your apology), we are all what we are and whatever that is it is no good trying to be different. If this girl can not like you as you are, nerves and all, then you would not be happy with her as a friend. Therefore make the aproach, you seem to have everything to gain and absolutely nothing to lose! If she rejects you, she would not have been right for you anyway! Again, I feel your poetry shows promise and thank you for responding to my work. Ivor |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
things are never as hard as they seem at first just jump in it's the only way to find out if the water is nice |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...If you like her...first sort out the reasons why and then simply tell her you like her...and if she ask why...you have gained your opportunity...James |
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kudanesh Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135Peterborough,England |
Thank you for all you'r kind words and I took you advice. Sophie had liked me for some time but had the same kind of problem I did. She did not want to ruin a friendship if she was rejected. I realy do thank you for all of you help. It did not take a poem I just went up to her told her how I feel and well WOW. It all Just unfolded into a blumed flower.Thank you all ever so much and Sophie say thank you to. If it was not for you I would not have told her she would have not told me, and I would be the same old me but insted its a brand new we |
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