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penance
| Open Poetry #41 |
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penance |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I wanted you to know I know that I have failed you just as much if not more than you failed me and my attempts, ridiculous triflings of words and worse-- humiliations mutual the posturing as ritual hate crimes are habitual: We're loathesome to each other's touch. I did not believe in love and neither of us had "the stuff" Integrity nor fortitude and wishes won't make dreams come true. I wish I could have helped you more. Perhaps if I'd been catholic... or more persistant at the door that you've locked since you were six? (You didn't think I knew, did you?) You have places broken too and just as many war stories, the rubble of a little boy singing songs in harmony to Beatles on a phonograph to fill the gaping hole of lack wondering will Mom come back and why "enough" was never more than token guilt gratuity. (Y'gotta let that go yanno) and I just typed that like a pro... lessons learned from fact, after we realize that canned laughter is annoying to the ear-- too similar to schoolyard jeers. You don't need to pose like this offense as a defense is practical in tactical maneuvers of mechanical emotions of Pavlonian (aren't you weary of the game?) I am aware I'm not the same. I never was the names you claimed just as you are not my God-- I'm sure you'll miss the services the rituals done in your name but damn responsibility cleft like leaves of yellowing spinning spirals on the tree-- and just like the comparison your roots are deep and hold the mud together as a truce of us harrowed on a hill. |
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| © Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
beautiful and powerful. It is the language of your tongue. Why not post in CA so I could chew more?  Have a wonderful New Year, dear lady SB!!!  " we realize that canned laughter is annoying to the ear--" What is canned laughter? a condensed one that one can not laugh in a relaxed mood? or a high pressure cooked one that lost all its taste? or it is stored for too long then out of date? or if one wants to get the laugh, one has to work on it and season it before one gets a laugh at all? love the words you used. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
TM? My critique flag is on... tsk..and if I say I'm open to critique, I mean that in any forum you find the critique flag ON. Happy New Year to you too lovie. Now...have some chewing gum! (chomp chomp chomp) |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
It doesn’t need to be in CA Karen, I can be just as critical here in open. It’s far too short - it should last forever. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and I pray it does not... but thank you lovie. wow. *smile* I'm kind of embarrassed. I think so highly of you yanno...  <---sweet revenge?Happy New Year. (one can only hope, yes?) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
TM--sorry, I didn't see your question before. "canned laughter" is a term for recorded laughter, most usually used in situation comedy style television, under the premise that people will laugh when others laugh. Sorry I missed your question earlier--"canned laughter" would have been the title if I had written this meaner.  I'm trying harder to be better though. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You've left me nearly speechless with this one, K. Let's just say...it must be savored slowly. Into the library, for safe keeping. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
quote:You sure did! I was sorry this ended, a very powerful write Karenity. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Now I know why I popped in here tonight. Ser, this is amazing verse, really and man-o-man do I hear the music that goes with it. Really. Are you sure you don't play guitar in open C? Gawd I love this poem even if it is blue. (and you, too, 'course!)....jojo PS: Happy New Year! Wishing you the best! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 that is so how it is. human behavior is a fascinating thing. Beautiful love. Happy New Year. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I am aware I'm not the same. I never was the names you claimed just as you are not my God-- ~*~ Deal the cards anew, m'dear. Then play them to the end. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is very sad Karen. fine write though. I don't know how old you are , (not as old as I am, I'm sure) but I have to tell you the only good thing about age is it tends to put things in perspective. The issues that were so important when I was younger seem rather silly and frivolous to me now. Looking back I have to laugh sometimes. (at myself)Something to do with patience and acceptence, I guess. You are a fine writer and an enjoyable personality. Just hang in there until you are able to laugh at yourself too. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Karen- Your talent is such to cause lesser poets to go screaming into the night, ashamed of their own inadequacies. This is- typically- awesome. What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Fascinating, as always, K. (if I had the confidence to respond to such . . .) "or more persistant at the door that you've locked since you were six?" Sometimes the key is thrown away before we even knew there was a door . . . |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A nice piece of writing...James |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
A special Hey to Krawdad. (not that all of you ain't special but I only get five of these smilie things. Just wasted one too. And yep, Kraw, I keep finding doors m'self--so let's just call this the "no-fault draw". You guys always make me feel better somehow. Now, just take that one and pass it around, k? Love you all, and thank you. (I had to count 'em--whew, I think I'm good. grin, mathy stuff--shudder) |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
I wish I could have helped you more. Perhaps if I'd been catholic... or more persistant at the door that you've locked since you were six? (You didn't think I knew, did you?) You have places broken too and just as many war stories, the rubble of a little boy Karen? How you manage to write things like that - kinda scares me. How do ya manage all that brilliance without hiring an agent to do it for you? I've got some really interesting deja vu for ya - you won't believe it lol {{{{Hugs}}}} ~Caroline~ |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Oops... forgot to add this to my library... then slammed the drawer on my finger, so it wouldn't be only my face that is red lol  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love you Caroline. Drop me a line, lovie. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I have to say S, You have a very unique Style in your writing, I like that! Very much Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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