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| Open Poetry #41 |
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Taka |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. In the cold Blue air A hawk Slowly gyres Over winter fields Christmas lights Strung along And above the streets There’s music playing From the stores All the houses Draped in white With wreaths of pine Upon their doors And of course— A single mitten For a woman Lying in the snow . |
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| © Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Those mittens we lose all the time ... Such beautiful imagery, dear John! Love, Margherita  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Wonderful Pictures you painted ARCTIC WIND |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
fine minimalistic seasonal and 'holiday' impression! one small point... "And of course— A single mitten For a woman Lying in the snow" In terms of the placement of 'modifiers'...this wording might be misinterpreted such that the woman seems to be 'lying in the snow' rather than the mitten? perhaps just: "And of course— a woman's mitten lying in the snow" sorry...I profoundly apologize John, if this seems to be in any way picayune! [it is just that this 'write' is such a grand and powerful impression otherwise...like a fine 'ice sculpture'...clear, concise and very moving!] serious applause!! [This message has been edited by secondhanddreampoet (12-09-2007 08:36 PM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
John, I have been gone for some time and have truly missed reading your work so glad I am back now |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
On the hand of one of the two snow angels in my mind |
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