Open Poetry #41 |
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Crown Point |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan ![]() |
. The yellow maple Fallen drying leaves Have begun to skitter Across the ground In the late autumn wind Those flights of geese We used to see In the morning sky Going south are fewer Every day Soon we’ll have no choice But to stay indoors With books and art The little artifacts Of our years Together alone Apart from those Who only have always Encumbered our lives Without regret Or tears . |
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© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi John. This one seems a little aypical in terms of your usual precision in tone and language. The body of the poem seems melancholy, if not regretful, and at odds with the ending. "Skitter" and "artifacts" sound a little off, where you are usually more inventive or concrete. Just me talking, Jim |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Thank you both Jim, the difference is in that I was probably thinking and taking on without much sympathy or success the remembered attitude of another Thanks again for reading John . |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
"stay(ing) indoors With books and art" ...seems rather a fine concept to me! |
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