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BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

0 posted 2007-07-23 02:35 PM

An apple tree and daffodils
on a smooth grassy hill
beside an ocean serene.
It was my masterpiece -
but now I see flaws.
Brush strokes painted in haste
without deliberation.

The colors have faded over time.
I’ve applied a glaze
hoping to preserve the cool, restful blues
joyous cadmium flowers
and the vermilion of sweet fruit
on a spring-green tree.

The apples, particularly
have lost their luster.
There don’t seem to be as many flowers
as there used to be.
The hill I climbed is flat now,
the tree in a valley.
When did that boulder appear?

To work then.
In creative frenzy,
perhaps desperation?
I mix, knife and daub.
Violet orchids, roses of crimson
Carnations of every color.
Covering up the rock.
Bigger apples, creamy fleshed –
I stroke a wind across the sea.

So involved in the changes
I’ve neglected to see
what I’ve really done.
I may have more skill,
but have lost my vision
and what I have left
is mud.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2007-07-23 02:45 PM

Nice writing...it happens each time a relationship falls apart...James

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

2 posted 2007-07-23 04:22 PM

Thank you James - one of those thing that just burst out.

Sometimes perspective is necessary.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2007-07-23 05:58 PM

mud is lovely ms
when it begins to dry
and simmers it's life scent

enjoyed this

Bronzeage
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 197

4 posted 2007-07-23 10:42 PM

I like this very much. The imagery and exposition are execellent. I was dissapointed to see the shift of tone at the end.

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

5 posted 2007-07-24 12:18 PM

Thank you daark, thank you Bronze.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2007-07-24 08:23 PM

a whole canvas of truth sitting there, looking
you right in the eye. Wise write, very
wise.

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

7 posted 2007-07-25 11:43 AM

Thank you Magnus.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2007-07-25 02:02 PM

mud is good sometimes

good writing here

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2007-07-26 09:44 AM

With pen strokes, you painted very vivid word pictures.

I appreciated the beauty of your metaphorical writing. Lovely work.

EA

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

10 posted 2007-07-26 10:53 AM

Thank you Passing Shadows.
What a lyrical comment, Earth Angel - thank you!

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

11 posted 2007-07-26 11:24 AM

.

Allow for accidental color

Color in Outdoor Painting (Hardcover)
by Roger William Curtis

http://www.amazon.com/Color-Outdoor-Painting-William-Curtis/dp/0823007405/ref=sr_1_1/102-5533977-6744919?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1185463252&sr=1-1

.

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

12 posted 2007-07-26 08:14 PM

Someone once told me that sometimes the opposite of good is "better". Seems like you have captured that thought in this piece describing how in trying to make it better you ruined the whole thing.
Although, I do think that mud can be lovely as well. Alas, that is a poem for a different day.

BBGrrl
Member

since 2007-07-17

Posts 181
BC, Canada

13 posted 2007-07-27 01:50 PM

Thank you Huan (I think? *grin)

And you gwahir.

there are many "happy accidents" in painting, that is to be sure.

I will always write "painting" poems.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

14 posted 2007-08-01 08:46 AM

I read this yesterday and was not able to reply at that time but wanted to be sure to come back to this today. I enjoyed the images and artistry of this very impressive write. Much enjoyed indeed!

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