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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2007-10-19 09:39 AM

They congregate
like leaves
this morning of regret
and bygones

on tattered trails
they eat remorse
of what still falls
from summer's pickings

where august rained
of you and me,
the landscape dwellers
lovers,
in its picture frame,

the romp and rendevous
and one stollen moment
when we owned it

the trees
now wearing plaid

but the stubborn pink of me
plays a sullen requiem,
as its clinging, though
fading, shattered,
in the tombstone
of your hardened heart

dying with the fallen,
destined as the soot
of embers
that shall not ignite again,
in once, such bright intensity,

for you, for me.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (10-20-2007 03:57 PM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2007-10-19 09:43 AM

"where april rained
with you and i
the landscape dwellers
in the picture frame

the romp and rendevous
and the stollen moment
when we own it"

I really like reading you...

this is amazing

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2007-10-19 09:50 AM

thanks sweet sea
im still edittting over here.....

thanks for the read

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2007-10-19 10:07 AM

like the edits too, but I really like rain, so I like that better

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2007-10-19 10:19 AM

oh, this aches!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2007-10-19 04:04 PM

Nice writing...James

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

6 posted 2007-10-19 05:17 PM

incredible

i couldnt pick a fav part as all it ached

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

7 posted 2007-10-20 01:51 PM

Interesting ‘write’!

I am especially fond of:

“They congregate
like leaves
the morning of regret”;

AND:

“destined as the soot
of embers
that shall not ignite again”

Applause!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

8 posted 2007-10-20 11:45 PM

A fantastic write!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2007-10-21 01:40 AM

What worse than a fire whose dying embers cease to glow? Fantastic write.

Xillus_Xavier
Member

since 2007-10-05

Posts 72
Alabama

10 posted 2007-10-21 01:53 AM

Great work for I was thoroughly entertained.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2007-10-21 04:03 AM

Dear Goddess, I doubt that I will ever look at trees decked out in their fall finery without thinking of the following:

"the trees
now wearing plaid"

EA

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

12 posted 2007-10-21 08:34 AM

Mish..you already know how I love this one...

Bronzeage
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 197

13 posted 2007-10-21 04:35 PM

A penetrating piece.

I love this part
"but the stubborn pink of me
plays a sullen requiem,"

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

14 posted 2007-10-21 08:34 PM

quote:
but the stubborn pink of me
plays a sullen requiem,
as its clinging, though
fading, shattered,
in the tombstone
of your hardened heart

dying with the fallen,
destined as the soot
of embers
that shall not ignite again,
in once, such bright intensity,

for you, for me.

Poetic intensity, dear Michele. Yes it hurts.

Love,
Margherita

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

15 posted 2007-10-21 09:07 PM

"They congregate
like leaves
this morning of regret
and bygones

on tattered trails
they eat remorse
of what still falls
from summer's pickings"

To the point.
Very nice write.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

16 posted 2007-10-21 09:26 PM

Loved this "there" and I love it here, and pardon me, lovely one, if I quote the same:

"the trees
now wearing plaid

but the stubborn pink of me
plays a sullen requiem,

a purely graceful portray of a startling image.

Beautifully captured.

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