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Open Poetry #41

Saturday Night Fever

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-10-18 02:02 PM

.

The next
Is no more than that
And others after
Even less

It is a fact
A strength or failure
Of human nature
That nothing repeated
Can escape the mark of same

And even then
Not exactly
For if no difference
Could be seen

Or felt who’s to say
The one you’re with today
Couldn’t fulfill the need

.

[This message has been edited by Huan Yi (10-18-2007 06:16 PM).]

Bobby Jordan
Member

since 2007-08-13

Posts 491
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2007-10-18 06:12 PM

Huan Yi,

It's an interesting take on Saturday Night Fever.

In the line:

The one you’ve with today

might be better if you canged "you've" to "you're"

Bobby

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

2 posted 2007-10-18 06:17 PM

Bobby,

Thanks

Darn spell checker
I canged it (-;

Thanks again

John

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

3 posted 2007-10-19 06:22 AM

I enjoyed this John.. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

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