Open Poetry #41 |
you remind me of fire and rain |
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
This morning I woke up thinking of you sipping your coffee sitting by the window day dreaming you know right? that feeling of being alone waiting for life, for the color to seep in-to your black heart we share that darkness the heavy rains have not come yet and you pray; I imagine you looking to the skies in a frame of silence through folds of light, a chorus of ruin So I began to sing fire and rain (JT) and watched your eyes as the heart-aches of life flowed over you the night already green it is not him who counts hours but what happens between them when they are drawn together standing behind glass watching the wall of flames there is no water but we thirst and look among the hollows for relief against the walls of our chest where dusk has settled better yet against the rope of night I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn because we insist on the ripple of color to lead to rain and love did not lead or heal but merely failed us into believing fire was stronger ~~**~~ just for the mood.... ~~**~~ Life is a balance of holding on and letting go (KU) |
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© Copyright 2007 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
much fine-emotive ‘food for thought and private interpretation’ in this ‘write’! I am especially fond of the following: “rope of night” ; “looking to the skies in a frame of silence through folds of light” ; “that feeling of being alone waiting for life, for the color to seep in-to your black heart” ; “we insist on the ripple of color to lead to rain…. love did not lead or heal but merely failed us into believing fire was stronger (!)” serious, long-sustained applause! [especially for the kind of 'imagery' that truly 'wafts along that eternal plane!!'] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh Lordy Lady! There are so many, but this, this was magical. "that feeling of being alone waiting for life, for the color to seep in-to your black heart" and this... I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn I am sending this to an ex-resident moth who will be giddy with gleeeee. ((^*)) |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
ELEMENTS of life ... unspoken. ME |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wonderful writing...I don't believe that love fails us...it is us that fails love...the same could be said for happiness...James |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
holy smokes greeny you blew me away with that writing! the emotions were there and you somehow found words to descibe it with a magic swirl about it all - way too cool ge ! ~J In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn because we insist on the ripple of color to lead to rain " add me to the list of those blown away....*whew* this is so awesome |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I imagine you looking to the skies in a frame of silence through folds of light" Lauren, this is incredibly romantic imagery. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
You know dear sis, I have read so much beauty spill from your pen before, but this is imho, your very best ever. You have the gift lady, now, bind it up, publish it and let the world be amazed at your beauty and soul... love you much m'friend. I am so glad to see you posting again and no matter how long the wait or how much time passes your words are always worth seeking out. |
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Jezzika Member
since 2005-01-05
Posts 154work |
wow!! ..........This was amazing....... One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Greeneyes, loved the imagery in this, very much enjoyed my friend, the poet's pen has performed well and treated us with magic. Rick |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
love to all and thanks so much for signing by.... ~~**~~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
bump bump - I loved this too much to not share it with more readers. |
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ArtSolstice Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498 |
How did I ever miss this poem? WOW. If any of you haven't already read it, now's your chance. And for those who have? Worth re-reading, again and again. |
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Jammy Junior Member
since 2007-07-30
Posts 12Apoptosis |
That was quite eloquent; very well done, if I do say so myself. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Now this is how I like to write...of course I didn't do it, but I can dream, can't I? This was better than wonderful, my friend, from first to last word . . and the last was a perfect end...... More power to you.... Jimmy |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Still doing that thing you do so well Fine writing, maam |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
thank you all so much for stopping in, I appreciate all the comments ... /s to all... ~~**~~ |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Lauren, Heavens lady....missed your writing! Your writing, I don't even have words. It's rare that I'm speechless! Amazing writing!....amazing "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This morning, I woke up thinking of YOU.... Ok, gross exaggeration, I freely admit! But at odd times during the past two days I've been thinking that it may be time to end my "PiP vacation"....and of the people here I've been missing most. You of course are one of them, and that ISN'T an exaggeration. If I were writing this poem I would hope to capture even part of it as poignantly as you've done here....and I wish I had been writing it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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