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Open Poetry #41
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Romantic Failure
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Romantic Failure |
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PoppaLoco Member
since 2007-09-23
Posts 83EU, NL, Limburg |
.. But when her laughing stopped And her honest smile pierced to his core, His festive colours faded into grey His energy drained under the tile floor Reading her eyes but terrified By the commitment that she begged He forced a smile, stuttered something of wit Ignored the sweet in the words she now said Left her lonely at his feet Afraid to leave his high horse seat The entertainer, sole remainder After every feasted feast. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Kalle Nijs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Your reference to the tile floor is compelling... Such food for thought, at your banquet. If she touched him so deeply, as to cause stutters at his core...is this really a romantic failure? Since I tend to be an optimist, perhaps just a pause in the breeze...leaving both parties bruised in what the wind kicked up...but certainly the make up is worth the growing pains! I liked this. How did you know?  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Nice READ And really enjoyed ARCTIC WInd |
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PoppaLoco Member
since 2007-09-23
Posts 83EU, NL, Limburg |
Diamond.. Thank you for your insight. To me, it does feel like romantic failure often enough, but I hope the future will lean more towards your optimistic description! Who knows, maybe the happy ending will present itself on these pages one day. Arctic: I don't think you've missed a single one of my poems?? Your addition to the forum is moving =) Thank you. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Second helping...no carbs! Fullfilling just the same. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
This is a really cool write. I love how you painted the picture for us--felt like I was right there! Take care, Amy "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hello PoppaLoco......When I read this I pictured someone on stage singing a love song, and another in the audience, in love with the song. Maybe a "killing me softly with his words" kind of thing. Probably not what you meant at all, still I thought you'd like to know. |
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PoppaLoco Member
since 2007-09-23
Posts 83EU, NL, Limburg |
Everyone, thanks again. Martie: You can definately see it like that, it's a situation for any scene. Didn't miss the mark, thanks for showing me another angle =) |
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