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Open Poetry #41

Girl Interrupted

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2007-07-19 10:36 PM

She said I do
Then paused,
With her darkest thoughts,
She was a fountain’s dream.

She lay around its hands,
Its time wound slowly,
It was hers and his,
Her tears wept.

She was Caroline,
Carolina without its crept,
She was just a girl,

She couldn’t look
At her thighs anymore,
As she remembered
How his hands buried
Her innocence, one finger at a time.

She wished for its dawn,
To have breakfast
Once more as a girl,

A girl that wished for
Her silky dress not
To be scrunched,
With a breath that drank
With vodka,
And shared sins
With the alleys long, dark, diaries.

She didn’t ask for this,
She was lifting her skirt,
To see herself,

She lifted this time,
And forgot what it felt, to be a girl.

[This message has been edited by Tomer (07-20-2007 12:03 AM).]

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

1 posted 2007-07-21 11:37 AM

She lifted this time,
And forgot what it felt, to be a girl.

Wonderful poem - too good to go unnoticed. I am glad that I stopped by.

A

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2007-07-21 12:24 PM

A very stark image this poem paints, and
a very agonizing poem, agonizing reality.

Thanx for taking the moment.

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

3 posted 2007-07-21 02:59 PM

It seems rather sad really with a melancholy tone. I am not sure I understand all the images but I get an overall ache from this one.

dingusjr
Member

since 2003-09-24

Posts 415
Missouri

4 posted 2007-07-21 06:21 PM

Wow...some poem, this. VERY nicely done..it gets a well deserved bump. Let me quit commenting so I can read it again!

Jess
Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 243
Washington

5 posted 2007-07-21 08:34 PM

You did wonderful on this. Just reading it, you can feel the girl's anguish.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

6 posted 2007-07-22 11:03 AM

Thank you for the responses...always appreciated.

Tomer

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