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Open Poetry #41

Let's Pretend

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2007-09-14 05:38 PM

My life is such a clutter
and I wish this wasn't always such a mess
and I envy the flutter,
Of the ugliest moth
it breaths with such a freedom,
that the iron just rots...
the skin rusty.
Like an old penny
that fetches that foul smell,
and makes your teeth crawl
like a bite into tinfoil.
The smell inyour hands
that'll never come clean,
of the sins you've committed
and you scrub at the folds
that crease in your palm.
But he already knows
what you've done wrong.

-Ash-

Bronzeage
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 197

1 posted 2007-09-15 12:06 PM

This is an outstanding piece. Very well done.

Type II poet. Its worth the work.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

2 posted 2007-09-28 11:54 PM

Hi Match, I don't understand the title, it doesn't seem to match the poem. However the writing is outstanding and I hope to see more.
Ida

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

3 posted 2007-09-29 08:20 AM

Well done Ashley:
You have a great gift with imagery.
TD

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