Open Poetry #41 |
sed-i-ment-en-tar-i-ly |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This one might need more of this; that one might need less of that and each day is a new dawn craft-- happenstance of laughter mad or tears of perfect chemistry bowing to the clap-clap-clap of our dear-lawd audience... Start with an awakening dreams like leaves released from trees colored multi-plexity, browning curling edges (green) and yellow-light is shadowing in reverse of life redeemed like a coupon, clutched. Shadows of the burgeoning grape of vine to taste to test; curling like an embryo fist unto itself a scheme to clasp a grasp of tendrilling on the lattice fence of "x"... with lilies standing fore-front strong like rooks in row and on display of a game of chess not played dusty aching to be touched. Stoic marble people us chiseled neatly uniform staunted in the squares inlaid scared to make a move (or play) like the leaves we used to be dancing in the air and down to the ground compressed to these layers of the earth as breathe breath-compressed in lust and greed "sed-i-ment-en-tar-i-ly" polished like we might be new... wearing ages as a badge in the stripes of rock and blue shadows ripple like the hue of Thor's hammer, shimmering reflected in the ponds of youth shivering the edge of sand rippled by the tug of moon... stoic marble people us are just the dance of want to dust--- an autumn leaf of kite to sky to crumble brown sarcophagus pressured into earth to stone chiseled back to images idols of ourselves at war standing at attention in these scores of lines that rhyme too far waiting for a featherdust-- or an editor. * * * * * |
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© Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
awesome !!! damn i just love you and the way you write |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Though I understand the themes aren't always jovial, your works are such a delight to read aloud as sounds roll and lounge with languid intent. This here's no exception. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
I felt the emotion, the power. I''ll read again for the meaning. love you! Tomtoo |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Lawsy lawsy, Ms. Ser......you left some mightly powerful sed-iments here. You sure know how to keep me reading. And....I know you'll blush if I say this is outstanding and I don't want to embarass you so.....I'll just say, "you drop my jaw sometimes." *hugs*.....jojo |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Yep, Jo is right - your words drop the jaw. A deep and insightful write! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"chiseled neatly uniform staunted in the squares inlaid scared to make a move (or play) like the leaves we used to be dancing in the air and down" Profound, and profoundly well voiced! Another one for my library. |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
::smiles:: I love this! I don't "get it"... But I love it. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Lady, you always leave me wondering how does she do it?! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I like to think I am still that leaf that floats freely, and not some old rock absorbing more "stuff" to weigh me down. Excellent poem Mz. S. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh lovie..that's part of the point...the leaf floats, it dries and dies, composted, becoming layers of sedimentary rock--or...OIL. But I didn't mean to neglect my friends out here in Open either, so I am popping in to express my gratitude. (LSU Tigers kicked butt--sorry VT.) Love to all, whether you be free floating leaves or the dirt that gives root to the trees--all very vital and much appreciated by me. thank you |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
As both a geologist ( the title!) and a chess player…I was compelled to read this interesting ‘write’! I am especially fond of: “dreams like leaves released from trees colored multi-plexity, browning curling edges…”; “of a game of chess not played”; “shadows ripple like the hue of Thor's hammer, shimmering reflected in the ponds of youth shivering the edge of sand rippled by the tug of moon...” AND: “featherdust(!)” Applause!! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Karen, you are one heck of a fine writer ... I hope you know that! The flow in this was superb. It was interesting to see where your thoughts travelled and played out with this, and I love the impression it left with me. Raw and real ... an earthy write that left me pondering. Really well done! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
"Ashes ashes,we all fall down", and return to mother earth. I loved this piece.You are magic!"late" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
in the stripes of rock and blue shadows ripple like the hue of Thor's hammer, shimmering reflected in the ponds of youth shivering the edge of sand rippled by the tug of moon... stoic marble people us are just the dance of want to dust--- an autumn leaf of kite to sky to crumble brown sarcophagus pressured into earth to stone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ meter schmeter...you are cadence lovie *wink* (consider this a compromise of the creek kind) *smile* ~~~~ dreams like leaves released from trees colored multi-plexity, browning curling edges (green) and yellow-light is shadowing in reverse of life redeemed shadows ripple like the hue an autumn leaf of kite to sky to crumble brown sarcophagus Writing poetry is easy. You need only stare at a piece of blank paper until your forehead bleeds. Douglas Adams |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well all right then ... now I get it, seeing JM explained it so beautifully. I do believe I will contribute something to this world after all, and leave my mark, even if it is only holding someone's footprint in time. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling wide... Jan, Jan, Jan... you know I love you, but thank you so much for lending your art to illustrate my words so perfectly. I don't believe I ever did have to explain anything to you, and I'm not sure whether to express gratitude for that or sympathy! Just know that I adore the addition of the pics, and it's so lovely to just see your name on the blue page again. Thanks to all (Canadian angels too)... and yes, I'll be around. I like it here! |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Yes I really liked this one.It took me on a sort of tour of life itself. Thanks Karen adagio |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I had to turn off the television to hear this inwardly - and to wrap myself in the beauty and excellence of your wild and profound understanding of the complexities of the human condition and the correlation between - no, not "correlation between", but rather "blending of" - it and the perfection of imperfection in nature. "Brave" is a word that always spring to mind, when reading your work, although it may seem a little strange to say about this particular poem - "brave" as in "perspicacious, honest, spontaneous, open and daring". This poem, as most (if not all) of your work that I have read has done, will stay on my taste buds and in my emotions for long after I have closed my laptop. - Owl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Owl--I get to welcome home two friends in one day! It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fine to see you again! Thanks lovie, for all of your kindness. It was much needed today and gave my confidence a fuel injection! Much love to you--stay safe. |
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sky1er Junior Member
since 2007-08-13
Posts 16Peru, currently |
i love the meter in this poem. the syllables roll around so nicely and create a beautiful cadence. i especially like: "in the stripes of rock and blue" and also relate to: "are just the dance of want to dust--" |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
How very blessed I am to come across this gem today! Every word you've chosen to paint these feelings is perfect, Karen. So much poetry is read and enjoyed, yours, is felt. God bless, Rae |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Yes this is an exquisite write, full of beauty and full of wisdom. Incomparable Serenity touch! Love, Margherita |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I was compelled to continue reading your word spill as it flowed down the page. You grabbed my attention and then held my attention until the closing. "dreams like leaves released from trees colored multi-plexity," ~ Especially enjoyed those lines! Warm hug to you, Serene One, EA |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are all tooooooo beautiful! I'm gonna go tuck me in early, and hopefully back to read in the morning. thank you for your enduring patience and kindness. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
First of all, you brought JM home... Second of all... quote: Brava! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen, the landscape of you, the hue and shape of your meter ... floating, drifting, falling, fabulous. Your words pick me up and then blow my mind. Hi JM!!!! Good grief, I'm all a dither, come hither! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Karen, there is a lot I understand about your brilliance and your wonderful, compassionate, interesting and complex nature, but one thing I am struggling very hard to understand is that you could EVER, EVER, EVER need your confidence boosted about your ability to write poetry! However, should you ever need it again, just call on me (and EVERYONE else in PIP and anyone else with at least half a brain and/or soul who has ever read your work!)and I can guarantee that we will all oblige with alacrity! Hugs and gratitude for the enjoyment your poetry brings. - Owl |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
'like rooks in row and on display of a game of chess not played dusty aching to be touched." to be touched is to breathe in life and feel connected. If I can gracefully fall, full of color, to what I will become then I am content with that. Karen, if I can do that holding your hand (or you holding mine) from time to time, then I am happy. I loved this piece. I have wrapped myself in it for warmth. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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